The Lioness and the Lamb Chapter four/ Part Four

Catherine

My night made me fiber rather quickly and sleep never claimed me. I was hurting because of the words that I shouldn't have said. I'm going back on what I told her already which is a problem. I was trying to pull the Jyn I know out of her but I'm missing something here. She's like a light switch which makes me even more confused. The agreement was gonna be difficult but now it's even worst since Jyn isn't who I know. In the end, I'm hurting myself and I want her next to me so badly. Tossing and turning consumed me tell I caved in on my desire to be near her, I want to apologize and feel safe. I should learn who this Jyn is but right now I want so badly to just be greedy.

My feet carried me softly through the dark luckily her door was open already. I couldn't tell if she was awake or not but either way I wanted to try. With knees pressed into the bed, I curled up so close to her body hoping she wouldn't reject me. My arm stretches across her side allowing my hand to rest on her stomach. I'm a terrible person that I feel so deeply now more than ever.

"I'm sorry, Jyn..."

A whisper I didn't expect her to respond to yet her hand covered mine entangling our fingers. The way she squeezed pulled tears out forcing me to hold back from getting emotional again.

"If you are not the same Jyn I remember that's fine... I will learn to love you either way. It was so hard living without you and now you are here, different than how I remember. I can't live without you again because of my stupidity."

It was hard to speak through tears which she picked up on turning to face me. Her fingers brushed away each tear that wanted to fall while the other hand ran down my spine.

"It's okay I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me... Don't take all the blame, you never met this side of me because it was lost. I am partially responsible for this, so let tomorrow be our day to learn from each other."

It was a smile I didn't think I could do again but her words gave me hope. We had reached an agreement and I wasn't gonna let it slip by or get wasted. Even if my body, heart, or mind doesn't react to this Jyn they will learn. Because if nothing else I still feel comfort and safety in her arms and once again nothing can hurt me. On impulse, I tip my head up ever so slightly to steal a brief kiss.

"I promise I'll try... I wanna always be in your arms just like this."

Just like that with my emotions draining my strength away and her arms pulling me close so sleep could claim me.

When morning came and I awoke she was still holding me which means it wasn't a dream. Today will be the start I can't screw it up this time and hurt her again. I press my nose which is a little cold into her neck softly nuzzling for more warmth.

"That nose is so cold."

"I'm sorry but you had so much extra warmth I wanted to borrow some more... Morning Jyn."

"Mmm... Morning how long can we stay in bed like this though."

"Forever I hope but we made plans right?"

"Five minutes then we can get up... I'm afraid I might still be dreaming about this."

I couldn't help smiling into her neck at her words as I let my hands roam along her spine. This isn't a dream for either of us and I'm sure we both will learn this truth.

After another thirty minutes, it was time to get up before we slept the day away. Jyn wasn't so easy to get up at first so I decided to try different methods. The first only made her turn over on her stomach and try to keep pretending to sleep.

"Alright, you asked for it."

I wasn't sure it would work but I climbed on top of her till I was sitting on her legs. With my hands, I pushed her shirt up while placing my lips on her spine kissing upwards which soon switched to bites.

"Oh... That is so unfair.

" Are you going to get up or do I have to get drastic."

She let a chuckle roll at my words which was a challenge to me. While tickling didn't work as effectively right now I...