Different Worlds- Letter to therapist (part2(
At 13 I had my first menstrual cycle and became a "woman". I could not handle the abuse while going through these changes and had a mental breakdown which led me to be hospitalized where I speak up of what was going on, charges were pressed but then dropped because my word was not credible being that I was in a mental hospital." That's's when my 13 year old's part Teenage Judi/ 13 emerged. The abuse restarted at 9 til I was 13, I grew older yet Little Judi/9 remained 9. Throughout my Teenage years I reverted to this thirteen-year-old part most often, with a lot of memories fronting of Little Judi/7 & Little Judi/9. When I was 19 I went into Trenton psychiatric hospital,where I went through a traumatic experience - not sexual. I was tyed to a gurney in restrainst for a long time and had a bug crawling up my arm. I tried to get the staff member's attention to no avail. I had a very "mousy" personality at the time. This was not the case when I was a teenager (around 15 years old). That's the age of my "protector personality". She manifested after the ordeal. Teenage Judi / 15. By the time I was 22 years old I had a full-blown heroin addiction and was completely out of control. This protector personality did more harm than good; so when I was 23 and entered AA another Teenage personality manifested; Teenage Judi / 17 manifested. At 23 something significant happened in my life. I remember because I went to the police. I later dropped the charges and refused the rape kit. Dad kicked the guy out of our home. After the rape Teenage Judi / 17 came out. Her sole purpose was to keep Teenage Judi/ 15 in check. She still did out there things, like use drugs, but this personality used much smaller quantities, much less frequently and avoided the hard stuff. This personality was more responsible and thought before acting.
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