1 views
Who broke the bond ?
Have you ever played a 'good child' role ? why did someone play that role ? because of their desire for appreciation or may be they wanted something more in return and this role was a bargain chip for them, bargain for more freedom.
The role of rebellious and rule breaker mostly played by boy child. Most girl child play less rebellious and more good child role. Have you ever seen those girls ? Being perfect, being obedient, being in boundaries. But what for and why ? Some for appreciation and acceptance. Though there are some to bargain for more freedom, more permits. Permission to get the right to choose. Permission for higher education. Permission to make friends, Permission to push the boundaries, Permission to chase the dreams, Permission to speak more and speak own soul langugae.
They keep playing 'good child' role with the hope that they are earning and building a trusting relation between family and them. And on that trust, one day, they will be allowed to few different things, things of their dreams and passion.
The trust for that they lost themselves, for that they pretented to be someone else, for that drowned in the crucial circle of sacrifices and compromises. The trust for that they forget to recognise and undersatnd themselves.
They put their whole energy and effort to put a balance between true self, a neglected, reprimanded dreamer self, and a good child role, an appreciated, respected self. The whole pressure of two closing walls keep crushing them.
Still they pave the path for themselves. They learn and educate themselves.
Somehow they think that they earned enough trust. They think that their trust is their love for them. It's become the start of being comfortable, being accepted in their authentic self. Then that's time they come to know, there will be never enough trust for them.
The mere show of their authentic self, the critical questioner, the refuser, the speaker, the debater, will destroy the wall of trust and they found that wall was without foundation. Without the foundation of love.
Their role of good child for years couldn't earn the love, couldn't earn the trust. They still tried, giving the examples of their life, showing long list of their good role.
Though the last arrow broke the all efforts and hopes. Their family questioned their own character. They silence them that they didn't allow them to speak their own mind, to grow out of their image of 'good child'. They didn't allow to question them in return. And in the end of conversation, to prove themselves, they questioned the character.
The character that was moving forward with the long chains binding on foot, the character which defied the nature of both teenage and youth, the character which build up the detachments from the own nature self. How easily it was questioned.
Just mere words, but still capable to broke those good children's whole life.
After this much efforts and acceptance of all boundations, was it that easy to question their character ?
The trust they put effort was really nothing. What's the need to live that life? if question is put early or later, doest it even matter ?
The life they lived, the trust, the love, they assumed collapsed in pieces while they become the spectere of that collapse.
They pick peices again, they learn everything about themselves again, they redifned their all beliefs and they recalculated what matters to them.
They never put effort to build trust, love, or any relation. Relations are broken.
And the question echoed, "Who broke the bond and relations" ?
Lot of assumptions, lot of miscalculation, but they never replied as now it doesn't matter if they are blamed or not, they are no longer in the role of 'good child'.
Though in their mind, they have it on repetition, "Who broke the bond ?" various answers with different perspectives, each perspective destroys something within and creates somthing new.
© @nn
The role of rebellious and rule breaker mostly played by boy child. Most girl child play less rebellious and more good child role. Have you ever seen those girls ? Being perfect, being obedient, being in boundaries. But what for and why ? Some for appreciation and acceptance. Though there are some to bargain for more freedom, more permits. Permission to get the right to choose. Permission for higher education. Permission to make friends, Permission to push the boundaries, Permission to chase the dreams, Permission to speak more and speak own soul langugae.
They keep playing 'good child' role with the hope that they are earning and building a trusting relation between family and them. And on that trust, one day, they will be allowed to few different things, things of their dreams and passion.
The trust for that they lost themselves, for that they pretented to be someone else, for that drowned in the crucial circle of sacrifices and compromises. The trust for that they forget to recognise and undersatnd themselves.
They put their whole energy and effort to put a balance between true self, a neglected, reprimanded dreamer self, and a good child role, an appreciated, respected self. The whole pressure of two closing walls keep crushing them.
Still they pave the path for themselves. They learn and educate themselves.
Somehow they think that they earned enough trust. They think that their trust is their love for them. It's become the start of being comfortable, being accepted in their authentic self. Then that's time they come to know, there will be never enough trust for them.
The mere show of their authentic self, the critical questioner, the refuser, the speaker, the debater, will destroy the wall of trust and they found that wall was without foundation. Without the foundation of love.
Their role of good child for years couldn't earn the love, couldn't earn the trust. They still tried, giving the examples of their life, showing long list of their good role.
Though the last arrow broke the all efforts and hopes. Their family questioned their own character. They silence them that they didn't allow them to speak their own mind, to grow out of their image of 'good child'. They didn't allow to question them in return. And in the end of conversation, to prove themselves, they questioned the character.
The character that was moving forward with the long chains binding on foot, the character which defied the nature of both teenage and youth, the character which build up the detachments from the own nature self. How easily it was questioned.
Just mere words, but still capable to broke those good children's whole life.
After this much efforts and acceptance of all boundations, was it that easy to question their character ?
The trust they put effort was really nothing. What's the need to live that life? if question is put early or later, doest it even matter ?
The life they lived, the trust, the love, they assumed collapsed in pieces while they become the spectere of that collapse.
They pick peices again, they learn everything about themselves again, they redifned their all beliefs and they recalculated what matters to them.
They never put effort to build trust, love, or any relation. Relations are broken.
And the question echoed, "Who broke the bond and relations" ?
Lot of assumptions, lot of miscalculation, but they never replied as now it doesn't matter if they are blamed or not, they are no longer in the role of 'good child'.
Though in their mind, they have it on repetition, "Who broke the bond ?" various answers with different perspectives, each perspective destroys something within and creates somthing new.
© @nn
