I found out later what regret is. Regret is your own decision to drown in the part of life that you have control over, without letting yourself grow the wings needed to shape that reality into a better version, provided you have the purest motivation and intention at heart. Regret strikes swiftly under the mask of "what if". There will be more what ifs that you can count. And the retribution of regret is a delicate what if per day to keep you away from living in the now. And that, my dear, is the suicide of your heart. If you choose not to intervene it will eat you up and spit you out until your willpower of looking towards a bright horizon is chocked. But there is a way to get out of the shithole of regret. Admit that you were wrong. Admit your lack of courage and confidence, trully apologize to yourself and those whom you have wronged in the intimacy of your soul's chambers, and realize that all can be undone and live each day with the utmost desire, passion, and love. Don't let those involved in your life lessons go to waste. They played a part and they took it seriously. It is your duty to repay their efforts with courage, love, confidence and gratitude. You must prepare the best version of yourself for that time when you will encounter them again, for you will not leave this life without a chance to streighten everything. The sooner you realize this, the faster will reconciliation occur.