Alright, let's take a deep dive into this ancient, divine drama that went down way back when, when I, the OG of the universe, the Big Kahuna, the One who started the whole shebang, was kicking it in the VIP suite of the heavens, sipping on that heavenly nectar, the good stuff that would make even a demigod's taste buds do the electric slide.

So, the scene is set in the middle of Nowhere---the desert, where sand grains got more stories to tell than a seasoned hustler on the street. And here comes Moses---the man who could make water dance and the Nile look like a blood drive gone wild---strutting around like he owns the place. But then, plot twist! He's got a bit of a family feud on his hands, courtesy of his siblings, Miriam and Aaron, who had more beef with him than a golden calf at a drive thru.

These two, who thought they were all high and mighty, started whispering sweet nothings about Moses' love life, throwing shade at his union with that fine Ethiopian queen, Zipporah. This girl was so beautiful, she could make the sun go, "Damn, I need to put on my shades." They were acting all salty, saying things like, "Does God only chat with Moses? What about us? Did He forget our number or something?" Talk about some jealousy with a side of...