Living in a community for nine good years with no friends ,bestie even someone who I could share my fears ,my sorrows,troubles, happiness, pains and who I could look up to but all I got was me. Don't ask me about my parent .What the heck! Everything I wanted to be ,the craziest things I wanted to do ,the things I wanted to explore ,the friends I wanted to have just kept staring at me and asked myself why? At first, I thought it was my fear which was pulling me away from my destiny.
But hey!, I couldn't help it , each day and night shedding tears in my loneliest room was the what I could do . Trying to understand this mysterious world full of happiness and sorrows . Seeing children like me doing what they want to do,hanging around freely without being stopped from what they love doing but being encouraged .I just felt that I was like a prisoner and at the same time a slave with no choice. Who was going to understand me, even tell me that I could be free.I'll!! being under a parent control was something I hated but I couldn't tell anyone but rather kept it to myself. How I wished that someone could take a knife to cut my chest to free my dreams and wishes . But nothing seems to be happening . l just kept holding on to one rock ,a rock I knew I couldn't hold forever . But one day l was just surfing and l saw some quote saying 'Always be happy in life but not in social media' l just thought with no love and asked myself how was I going to be happy . As they say life was a big fight which I couldn't stand. I tried to scream out loud for the mountains to hear me but were they dumb l asked myself. Stupid!! what was this feelings which was holding me back. Could it be hatred or loneliness .I couldn't express myself. When was I going to stop all this fake love which was boiling up in me.If I had the energy to swim in an ocean which will lead me to my destiny I would not even hesitate to do it. Sometimes people think that I seems to be cool and patient in every situation . But that is not the point. Life sucks!! and it looks like I have buried so many pains and sorrows. Am drowning ,am drowning slowly but who cares .if I had the wings of an eagle I would have fly so high to a different planet. And I know things will get better with time but when? In life there was so many journeys to take but be you ,be real ,be bold and in every situation be authentic. You are better on your own. Never give up enough of the crying and defeat the devil.I know that someday I might not be the same .it's hard for me to believe but I will wait.....
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