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the letter...
I want to assure you, dear friend, that my worth, my character, my strength, my passion, and my love is not to be underestimated
I hoped to inspired you to be better, and encourage you to write be there through your own hard times, and showcased strength because you told me you were weak. But as it turns out I didn't have enough followers or a channel to boost you or your views so I donated what I could because I believed in you more then you believed in yourself. It's ok with me now just being a shadow in a hollow grave of your past.
I made a mistake in the beginning for not telling you about Phillip if I did I thought you would go away because that's not what you needed another friend. I really had a connection with you. I truly believed I could experience real love It still hurts when I think about what could of been.
I believe in being brave. Taking chances. Saying the things that need to be said and doing the things that need to be done, regardless of fear or retaliation. Stepping out of your comfort zone to embrace your beautiful life and to find your plan and your joy.
I believe in real love. Not the kind of love that takes and takes and demands and selfishly controls, but the kind of love that gives and shares and fills every fiber of your being until you realize your face might crack with how long you’ve been smiling. I believe in the kind of love that is founded on friendship and loyalty and chemistry and selflessness–not the kind of love that is matched together based on similar religion, obligation, a timeline, or some 12 rules to life map.
I still want to pick up the phone and tell you when something good or bad happens.
The void you left was not really easy to fill. I couldn’t replace you no matter how hard I tried. Sometimes, I’m stuck through the worst of situations and all I could think of is picking up the phone and calling you to comfort me. Then I remember you have no comforting words because in the end it hardly matters to you.
You broke my heart in so many more ways than you would think
Suddenly, all I believed in no longer made sense. I was more sure of you and the voice more than I have ever been before. But all of a sudden, I wasn't worth the "drama" that was hardly the case imo. You left and it left me full of doubt.You shattered everything I thought I knew about people, place and things.
I still check up on you and wish you no harm I am so bruised from the way you left things, but I still fucking care about you and find joy in your accomplishments and successes. Even though I might seem a little apathetic when someone mentions your name, that is only because I know very well what I’m missing out on. I also need you to know I will always be there for you for what it worth even if it’s through telling a friend what to tell you. It breaks my heart now that I have to cross to the other side of the internet in order to avoid saying hello, but trust me, there’s nothing more I wish to do.
Finally, I’m writing you all this because I felt like we both deserved a clean slate. Even though things got ugly at the end, it’s important to remember we shared great moments together. No? In a way, they have shaped both our lives and partially made us the people we are today. So next time you see me on the IoT say what's up It’s silly really, but why not? We are both adults living in the same timeline with the same world view wether you want to admit it or not.
It’s taken me a while to stabilize my mind from the disconnect and meaning of all of this. You hurt me in a way I never been done before.Agreed I have been heartbroken before, but I never even had an idea that you sir would hurt me for no reason. I didn’t ever utter a negative word for you, wanted the best for ya. I lost more than a friend I lost my ability to believe in myself.
I see you made new friends. If you didn’t want our friendship to continue, you could’ve just told me. Not told me you "don't like when people hurt because of you."Well guess what I hurt because of you. And you have no problem letting strangers know how broken you are but they start to give a shit look out.
I stuck around as long as I did in hopes to find the sense making of your reasoning.
Thanks to you, I have had a hard time knowing the boundaries when it comes to finding a tribe to belong to. You and I had a one on one for a long time but you never included me. Told me you were only talking to me because you were lonely. Realizeing you never said that you be there for me forever but just in a flick of a second, everything changed. My dog died you thought that was a sign to be mean to me not explaining your transformation and just one by one cutting ties with me fuck that's so fucked up. I just don't deserve that and I still don't. So how about you get real honest with yourself about what you really think about me. The real reasons not some convenient one... Let me know so at the very least I can learn the lesson you are trying to teach. Just gonna ghost me? Don't you remember I am your ghost.
© All Rights Reserved
I hoped to inspired you to be better, and encourage you to write be there through your own hard times, and showcased strength because you told me you were weak. But as it turns out I didn't have enough followers or a channel to boost you or your views so I donated what I could because I believed in you more then you believed in yourself. It's ok with me now just being a shadow in a hollow grave of your past.
I made a mistake in the beginning for not telling you about Phillip if I did I thought you would go away because that's not what you needed another friend. I really had a connection with you. I truly believed I could experience real love It still hurts when I think about what could of been.
I believe in being brave. Taking chances. Saying the things that need to be said and doing the things that need to be done, regardless of fear or retaliation. Stepping out of your comfort zone to embrace your beautiful life and to find your plan and your joy.
I believe in real love. Not the kind of love that takes and takes and demands and selfishly controls, but the kind of love that gives and shares and fills every fiber of your being until you realize your face might crack with how long you’ve been smiling. I believe in the kind of love that is founded on friendship and loyalty and chemistry and selflessness–not the kind of love that is matched together based on similar religion, obligation, a timeline, or some 12 rules to life map.
I still want to pick up the phone and tell you when something good or bad happens.
The void you left was not really easy to fill. I couldn’t replace you no matter how hard I tried. Sometimes, I’m stuck through the worst of situations and all I could think of is picking up the phone and calling you to comfort me. Then I remember you have no comforting words because in the end it hardly matters to you.
You broke my heart in so many more ways than you would think
Suddenly, all I believed in no longer made sense. I was more sure of you and the voice more than I have ever been before. But all of a sudden, I wasn't worth the "drama" that was hardly the case imo. You left and it left me full of doubt.You shattered everything I thought I knew about people, place and things.
I still check up on you and wish you no harm I am so bruised from the way you left things, but I still fucking care about you and find joy in your accomplishments and successes. Even though I might seem a little apathetic when someone mentions your name, that is only because I know very well what I’m missing out on. I also need you to know I will always be there for you for what it worth even if it’s through telling a friend what to tell you. It breaks my heart now that I have to cross to the other side of the internet in order to avoid saying hello, but trust me, there’s nothing more I wish to do.
Finally, I’m writing you all this because I felt like we both deserved a clean slate. Even though things got ugly at the end, it’s important to remember we shared great moments together. No? In a way, they have shaped both our lives and partially made us the people we are today. So next time you see me on the IoT say what's up It’s silly really, but why not? We are both adults living in the same timeline with the same world view wether you want to admit it or not.
It’s taken me a while to stabilize my mind from the disconnect and meaning of all of this. You hurt me in a way I never been done before.Agreed I have been heartbroken before, but I never even had an idea that you sir would hurt me for no reason. I didn’t ever utter a negative word for you, wanted the best for ya. I lost more than a friend I lost my ability to believe in myself.
I see you made new friends. If you didn’t want our friendship to continue, you could’ve just told me. Not told me you "don't like when people hurt because of you."Well guess what I hurt because of you. And you have no problem letting strangers know how broken you are but they start to give a shit look out.
I stuck around as long as I did in hopes to find the sense making of your reasoning.
Thanks to you, I have had a hard time knowing the boundaries when it comes to finding a tribe to belong to. You and I had a one on one for a long time but you never included me. Told me you were only talking to me because you were lonely. Realizeing you never said that you be there for me forever but just in a flick of a second, everything changed. My dog died you thought that was a sign to be mean to me not explaining your transformation and just one by one cutting ties with me fuck that's so fucked up. I just don't deserve that and I still don't. So how about you get real honest with yourself about what you really think about me. The real reasons not some convenient one... Let me know so at the very least I can learn the lesson you are trying to teach. Just gonna ghost me? Don't you remember I am your ghost.
© All Rights Reserved
