a dream I may have had once.

I was resting on a soft bed my body surrounded by red silk.

My hair was neatly styled around my small face ,

My make up was done with such perfection It made me feel special one last time ,

My dress had been a black silk and lace dress , I had always wanted to be buried in

I remember looking down from the ceiling. my body lay lifeless as the doctors continued to try to save my unwanted life.

My memories were now reeking havoc throughout my brain were only those of myself, I had been a horrible person , I badly treated those that had once stood lovingly beside me ,
I believed i didn't deserve to be saved this time ,
Nobody knew how much I needed my life to end.

I hope they all understand ,
maybe someday

I remember it all just like the last breath I took.

I remember thinking that I'm finally free of this life, I can't ever again feel so unbearably alone ,

I remember how I felt that morning as I drank my poisonous tea in the warm morning sunlight,

How sad it felt to be Unable to love anyone , or to feel the love of another again.
I miss all the the soft touches of the one I adored , but what I missed the most was the sound of a voice that seemed to have arms filled with the love that wrapped around you to keep you warm and safe .

I felt as though I was already dead inside .

my heart had long since dried up and blown away in a gust of wind , the day the love of my life went on to the next and left me friendless.
Till my last breath

I remember the sound of my heart breaking. The feeling of emptiness engulfing every cell in my body like an arctic storm .

In my last speck of fight , everything started slowly freezing in this single moment in time

My heart had been broken to many times by those who said they loved me. And the ones that said they would always be there.

I began to see through all their lies , though.

Nobody ever came to visit anymore ,
the doorbell rang silent ,

Till my last breath

Nobody ever called to check on me, not even to say happy birthday or to spread some holiday cheer.

Not even a card or a letter in the mail , only the bills I pretended were my good friends

Each day that passes proves to be more depressing and lonely than the last ...

till i took my last breath.