Banters
You: I didn’t know you wanted to have sex.
Me: It’s been more than three months. Now you know.
You: Sex isn’t really on my mind anymore.
Me: Really? After three months, you’d think it’d be clear.
Me: How about sex tonight?
You: Sorry, but I can’t tonight. I’m doing my hair.
Me: Why not?
You: I’ve got a lot of prep to do.
Me: How many times do I have to beg for sex?
You: Begging won’t change anything. It’s not happening.
Me: If we don’t have sex tonight, I’m moving to the guest room.
You: Fine by me. I’ll enjoy the queen bed all to myself.
Me: How was I supposed to know you wanted sex? I’m not a mind reader.
You: I didn’t know you could read my mind about finances, either.
Me: I’m not just here to handle chores. I have physical needs too. I want us to be intimate.
You: Well, if you need to fix things, go do that. The backyard still needs work, and there’s plenty of other stuff to do.
Me: It feels like sex isn’t a priority for us anymore.
You: I didn’t get the memo that we’re over.
Me: If you’re not interested, what about trying something else? Maybe oral?
You: I’ve never been into it.
Me: What about your hand?
You: You’ve got two of your own. Why don’t you use those?
Me: Maybe I should just move out.
You: Now you’re talking.
Me: It’s been more than three months. Now you know.
You: Sex isn’t really on my mind anymore.
Me: Really? After three months, you’d think it’d be clear.
Me: How about sex tonight?
You: Sorry, but I can’t tonight. I’m doing my hair.
Me: Why not?
You: I’ve got a lot of prep to do.
Me: How many times do I have to beg for sex?
You: Begging won’t change anything. It’s not happening.
Me: If we don’t have sex tonight, I’m moving to the guest room.
You: Fine by me. I’ll enjoy the queen bed all to myself.
Me: How was I supposed to know you wanted sex? I’m not a mind reader.
You: I didn’t know you could read my mind about finances, either.
Me: I’m not just here to handle chores. I have physical needs too. I want us to be intimate.
You: Well, if you need to fix things, go do that. The backyard still needs work, and there’s plenty of other stuff to do.
Me: It feels like sex isn’t a priority for us anymore.
You: I didn’t get the memo that we’re over.
Me: If you’re not interested, what about trying something else? Maybe oral?
You: I’ve never been into it.
Me: What about your hand?
You: You’ve got two of your own. Why don’t you use those?
Me: Maybe I should just move out.
You: Now you’re talking.