continued...
With the end of the day, her excitement was at peak; she had waxed and downloaded some romantic songs off iTunes. Eva promised to buy her some scented candles and some condoms. She hoped this meeting with Amir bring some relief in her life. She couldn’t wait to see the next day.
Sometimes, it troubled Aarifa that how much they had grown up for their age. Law stated that it would be considered rape if someone had physical relationship of any kind with a girl younger than sixteen years. What she was planning with Amir was illegal, despite her consent. But so was too put someone in a situation that suicide seems a good idea.
Elders who had made the rules and regulations sometimes forget to apply on themselves. In an ideal world of laws and orders, she would have talked with Rosie or Martian about murder at school but that wasn’t the case for her, was it? was there any way for her get out of the pain she deep below her chest? Was there a way for her to not get intimate with someone she wasn’t fully consensual? Was there a way for her to get out of all the sadness and fear without selling out her innocence? Was there any other escape route?
By the time Aarifa said goodbye to Tessa, it was past eleven. Just one more hour to pass. Full of excitement and chilling fear, she lit the decorating lights. She had to drop the candle idea. Stupid fire alarm! She completely forgot. Tessa told her that Amir liked jazz. She had downloaded some jazz music too. She had already downloaded romantic songs. Amir didn’t like them. So, before She delete them, she decided to listen a few to lighten the second thoughts messing with her. Legs started to move. At a moment she realised someone yelled outside her house. Music was loud so she ignored.
After a few minutes when song ended, Aarifa heard a car outside her house. She looked outside the window. Mom and dad just drove away in a car with Prasad. It happened all the time. Whenever they needed each other, other family was there to help. For a second, she wondered if it was about Tessa. But Amir was there too and she was drunk playing truth and dare with Eva and Tessa just an hour ago. Moreover, Tessa seemed fine to her when she was here. Ignoring all the crazy thoughts and full of lust, Aarifa looked at Amir.
Amir looked back at her and walked into the house. Hurriedly, Aarifa changed the music to jazz from my pc, looked at Evan Rachel wood and her in wallpaper for a second and rushed to bathroom attached her room. she got a message from mom—going out. It might take time. Amir will be there with you. Take care.
Wait was over. House to themselves. Everything was perfect. Aarifa walked outside the bathroom topless and Amir drew her sketch. Something seemed different about him. He was not himself. Silently they started the act of pleasure. She wasn’t if she enjoyed it or she was just drunk.
After some time, he suddenly stopped and sat down on the bed.
“I can’t do this.” He said, looking at the PC wallpaper. They talked and he told her everything about Tessa. She was in the hospital and all of this was Aarifa’s fault. Alicia took revenge on her by leaking Tessa’s tape. Moreover, she called Tessa at her house and when she was returning, something terrible happened, just few hours ago.
Aarifa lit the cigarette with a matchstick out of stress as she gave ricin to Alicia when she asked for it. Rosie was a microbiologist and she was working on antidote for ricin poisoning. She had her own lab at home. Tessa and she had a key for the lab as they used to stole wine from her lab sometimes. One day Aarifa brought Alicia home and showed her the lab. Alicia took one syringe of ricin and Aarifa didn’t resist. Alicia told her it was some kind of a drug.
Burning matchstick fall on Aarifa’s top on the ground. Amir put it out and suddenly Aarifa heard something. It was Amir’s voice but he didn’t say anything.
“Amir, did you just say something?”
“My name is Andrew. Why do you keep calling me by this name? Who is Amir?” He said calmly although his eyes soaked in anger, took the burned top and walked downstairs. Aarifa would have followed him but suddenly Amir’s phone rang. she looked at the screen—unknown number. she picked up the call.
“Did you do it?” someone on the phone said.
“Al?” Aarifa recognised the voice.
“Oh, you are there too.”
“What do you mean? And why are you calling Amir?”
“It’s a nice story, actually. You are gonna love it. You must have heard Tessa is in the hospital right now. But do you know why?”
“It’s all because of you. What have happened to you? You are not this kind of person.”
“No, sweety. It’s much worse. So long story short, when you broke up with me, I followed you and I saw you with Amir. I cooked a revenge plan. I kissed Tessa and released the tape. Then, I blackmailed Amir to do my biding. I told Amir that I would give him ricin to kill his father and to motivate him, I threatened him to expose him because I knew he killed that boy in the school.
“What are saying? Amir would never hurt her sister or anyone.”
“Let me finished. I am sure I would change your mind. I didn’t tell him you were having affair with Tessa, neither did I tell him that you were my girlfriend. I just told she would be coming out of your house. It worked better than I thought. Amir and his friends killed Eva and molested Tessa. She is in coma right now. She is strong though, a good person. She killed one of boy in defence. I feel sorry for her. Consider her collateral damage.”
“You are such a…”
“There is more to the story. The resin I took from your mom’s lab, I poisoned my mom with it. And I am gonna blame Amir for it. I have everything, his finger print on the syringe. It’s not gonna end her. My final stroke would be when police would ask Amir that where did he got that ricin. Then, I am gonna tell about your love story and your mom’s lab. Perfect revenge plan, and I would get rid of my filthy mom, too. I should give you credit for it. If it wasn’t for you, I would have never been able to do this. Ba-bye.” She cut the call.
Aarifa had lost sense of everything. She looked at Amir for explanation who stood by the door, for a part of soul didn’t believe what she heard on the call. Police siren echoed in her ears, as Amir ran way. She looked outside the window. A few police man were investigating the road uphill. she saw Eva, being carried to the ambulance. She stood there near the window, full of guilt and despite, looking at the ascending sun from the horizon. Media flashed their cameras and police had sealed the site.
Aarifa stood on the window, spreading her hand in air, looking at the rising, and let herself fall.
***
Tessa was in coma since that horrifying night. Rosie barely came home. Tessa was her daughter that Aarifa never could be. She fought those guys and killed one of them, injuring other one badly, nobody was sure of that but Aarifa. Tessa was truly the daughter Rosie wanted. The third convict was Tessa’s own brother Amir, who had disappeared. The injured boy testified that Amir was with them. Nobody believed that in the beginning but his disappearance told the truth itself.
Nobody knew that Aarifa was carrying an ocean of pain and regret inside her, lying in the bed by the window, which looked over the lane. Every time She looked at the lane, she saw Amir, smiling at her face. her broken bones healed with time, but she still couldn’t move. Doctors said it wasn’t physical. She still carried the trauma in her.
She hated Amir and at the same time she loved him. Her desires were questionable and her mind held some crazy thoughts. These thoughts and desires had brought her here, in an abyss. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Eva, mirroring lives of their cursed soul at her. She loved a rapist and she couldn’t help it.
In fourteen years of my miserable life, these days were the toughest. Not just because she lost one of her closest friends, but something that she was afraid of was happening, something that haunted my nights ever since that night with Amir. Amir’s voice had now turned into her own voice.
He is the one. I love him. He is my soulmate. I have to find him. He is waiting for me.
It would have been comforting if her mother was there, while she was lying on the bed for months. It had been months, but Rosie never came to talk to her. Sometimes, she looked at her from the door but never came in. Maid usually brought her food. Martian would sit beside her sometimes and talked her. She waited for Rosie, hoping one day she would talk to her. It never happened and with time, Aarifa started walking on her own.
Aarifa woke in the middle of the day. Someone was in the house. Martian usually don’t talk except when food was ready. she looked outside the window. Three police car were outside the house. She ran downstairs. Police had thrown things here and there. They were searching something. Surprisingly, Rosie’s lab was no longer a lab but a bedroom. Nobody could tell there was lab. So, Alicia had finally played her move.
“Mom, what is happening?” Aarifa asked Rosie when police finally left the house empty handed. She looked tired. Dark circles had grown below her eyes.
“Sit down. We need to talk.” Aarifa could feel her eyes turning literally red.
Aarifa sat down silently putting her crutch aside. Unlike other times, Rosie sat calmly in front of her on the sofa.
“Three people were killed with ricin in my laboratory in last few months. The boy in your class, then one of Eva’s culprit and now the Brazilian ambassador. Alicia, your friend and that ambassador’s daughter claimed that Amir killed her mom and the school boy with ricin which he got from our house. She told the exact location of my lab and told the police that you gave it to him. Although I am not a fool. Tessa used risin on that boy who died. I am asking you this so I could help. Tell me what do you know? Tell me the truth.”
“I don’t know mom. Alicia came home with me many times but I don’t know why is she doing this. She was my friend. everybody knows that. I am already tormented that Amir would do something like to her own sister. Don’t push me. You didn’t even talk to me for months and now you are blaming me for this.”
“It’s alright. I am not blaming you. Tell me if you get to know anything. Now go and freshen up. You are stinking.” Rosie said and stood up; her eyes were still red though Aarifa didn’t dare to ask. She stood up and walked slowly away with crutch.
“You know that wasn’t ricin.” Rosie said from behind. Aarifa turned back as Rosie added, “It was serum I was testing. Well, everything turned out fine. At least I got real subjects for the serum. I fixed the side effects and now it’s ready to use.”
“Mom, it killing me that it caused so much hurt. My best friend is still in coma and you don’t even care your serum killed people. They weren’t subjects. They were real human beings. What would you know about feelings? You didn’t even talk to your own daughter while she was recovering after a suicide attempt.” Aarifa yelling, crying all the pain out and turned back.
“I do feel and I wanted to talk to you every second of every day. But I have bigger problems to handle. It’s not like I am gonna be here forever with you. You have to learn to live your life on your own. I have to go, child. I have to. Goodbye.”
Aarifa turned back confused. There was no one in the hall, like Rosie had disappeared in thin air.
It had been months since Rosie disappeared. Tessa had finally come out of coma. She was finally gonna meet her. First time in very long time, something good had happened. Aarifa closed the window in the attic and looked on last time at the lane. She entered the bathroom. The water fell on her face cleaning her of every sorrow. In a sense, she had moved on. She had accepted her mom was never coming back. Now only one thing was left for her to do. It was the only way to find peace that had disappeared from her life ever since Amir was accused of raping his own sister.
The water overflowed the bathtub.
***


© the forbidden child