I went to a local coffee shop to ingest my annual coffee. I don't drink coffee very often, but once in a while, I'll have one just because I'm due. I don't drink it often because i don't want to have to have a toilet in my sight for an entire day. Coffee makes me pee every 23 seconds, and that's a waste of a day.
I sat down at a table next to the garbage receptacle because i have low self esteem, and this lady comes over and places the wax paper from her donut into the receptacle. Apparently, this lady saw the fact that i was sitting next to literal garbage as an invitation to begin a conversation with me.
"Hello."
Sigh. It began.
"How are you?"
Well, I'm seated alone in a coffee shop next to a mini indoor dumpster, so I'd be lying if i said i hadn't had better days than this. I decided to go with a simple reply.
I said hello and she responded with, "you like coffee?"
I like coffee, yes, but you know, as a friend.
She continued, "i...