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Sin— page 7
pleas read pages 1 to 6 for better context.
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It rang continuously and when I didn’t answer, someone hurried in.
That someone kneeled behind me and hugged me from back. The feminine warmth of that embrace felt comforting and known so much so that I knew who it was without looking back. She pulled my back to her chest and tighten her hug as if she was keeping me together.
I slept in her arms while she kept awake till late.
In the morning when I woke up, she had just fallen sleep. Her grip still as tight as when she was awake. It took me sometime and a bit of work to loosen her grip around me.
I looked at her tired face and lifted her up in my arms carefully not disturbing her sleep. I took her to my bedroom and laid her on my bed.
I came back to my kitchen, cooked something for her and left it on her bed side with some orange juice befor leaving for uncle’s house.
His house was crawling with relatives and neighbours. My misfortune was being gossiped. Everyone was sympathetic and remorseful towards me. The day was spent in completing the rites and the evening locked up in my room.
The next day I didn’t come out of my room. My uncle rang my door bell and then the landline. He was worried.
I told him that I needed time and asked him to have faith in me. I assured him that I wouldn’t take any wrong step and just needed time to process things my way.
He understood and only asked me not to skip lunch. I promised and the conversation ended.
I went back to my room and locked myself in. Memories of my parents flooded my mind. I remembered their faces when I got the scholarship to the college, I remembered all the nights they spent taking care of me when I fell ill, all the birthdays I had spend with them. Suddenly, my head felt spining and my body started shaking. Trying to breath, I was gasping for air.
I felt week in my knees and fell hard on the floor of my room. I hit my head but did not lose consciousness.
I stayed laying down on my face. I tried to control my breathing and my heart that was pounding fast in my chest. It took me a while but after 20-25 minutes I regained composure. I got up but was too weak to stand up so just set on the floor with my back against the wall of my room.
My eyes started dripping and finally, I accepted the cruel reality that I was all alone now.
I cried, smiled, got angry and even feared, went through a full range of emotions that day in those hours before giving in.
Disappointed and saddened, I was pacing in my room when I heard someone asking, “Why haven’t you eaten yet ?”
I stopped and turned to the door of my room where I found her standing in anger.
“How did you get in ?”, I answered her question with a question.
“spare key to main door and your room isn’t locked. The door was only shut.” She answered.
“I answered your question now answer mine. Why is there food on this plate?”, she displayed concern and care in her tone.
“I wasn’t hungry.” I answered.
“Okay. but it was then (morning). You must be hungry by now (evening) and even if you are not, you should still eat something.”, She disappeared from the door while speaking.
I thought she left but she came back with 2 plates and food on them.
She carefully put the food boxes on floor slabs set to eat.
“Sit here. Let’s eat together. I haven’t had anything yet either.”, she put the other plat beside her and tapped on the floor inviting me to sit there.
© summerof2000
******************£££££*****************£*
It rang continuously and when I didn’t answer, someone hurried in.
That someone kneeled behind me and hugged me from back. The feminine warmth of that embrace felt comforting and known so much so that I knew who it was without looking back. She pulled my back to her chest and tighten her hug as if she was keeping me together.
I slept in her arms while she kept awake till late.
In the morning when I woke up, she had just fallen sleep. Her grip still as tight as when she was awake. It took me sometime and a bit of work to loosen her grip around me.
I looked at her tired face and lifted her up in my arms carefully not disturbing her sleep. I took her to my bedroom and laid her on my bed.
I came back to my kitchen, cooked something for her and left it on her bed side with some orange juice befor leaving for uncle’s house.
His house was crawling with relatives and neighbours. My misfortune was being gossiped. Everyone was sympathetic and remorseful towards me. The day was spent in completing the rites and the evening locked up in my room.
The next day I didn’t come out of my room. My uncle rang my door bell and then the landline. He was worried.
I told him that I needed time and asked him to have faith in me. I assured him that I wouldn’t take any wrong step and just needed time to process things my way.
He understood and only asked me not to skip lunch. I promised and the conversation ended.
I went back to my room and locked myself in. Memories of my parents flooded my mind. I remembered their faces when I got the scholarship to the college, I remembered all the nights they spent taking care of me when I fell ill, all the birthdays I had spend with them. Suddenly, my head felt spining and my body started shaking. Trying to breath, I was gasping for air.
I felt week in my knees and fell hard on the floor of my room. I hit my head but did not lose consciousness.
I stayed laying down on my face. I tried to control my breathing and my heart that was pounding fast in my chest. It took me a while but after 20-25 minutes I regained composure. I got up but was too weak to stand up so just set on the floor with my back against the wall of my room.
My eyes started dripping and finally, I accepted the cruel reality that I was all alone now.
I cried, smiled, got angry and even feared, went through a full range of emotions that day in those hours before giving in.
Disappointed and saddened, I was pacing in my room when I heard someone asking, “Why haven’t you eaten yet ?”
I stopped and turned to the door of my room where I found her standing in anger.
“How did you get in ?”, I answered her question with a question.
“spare key to main door and your room isn’t locked. The door was only shut.” She answered.
“I answered your question now answer mine. Why is there food on this plate?”, she displayed concern and care in her tone.
“I wasn’t hungry.” I answered.
“Okay. but it was then (morning). You must be hungry by now (evening) and even if you are not, you should still eat something.”, She disappeared from the door while speaking.
I thought she left but she came back with 2 plates and food on them.
She carefully put the food boxes on floor slabs set to eat.
“Sit here. Let’s eat together. I haven’t had anything yet either.”, she put the other plat beside her and tapped on the floor inviting me to sit there.
© summerof2000
