The retirement from job. From marriage. From reading. From traveling. From comfort zones. What did I yield? I had no good mind to go for work again, maybe cuz being a tightwad helped me with savings. No way I was going to get that book out of my shelf and smell it, cuz it made my stomach churn. People were only a call or text away, but I never cared to pickup up my phone and courage together to open my heart, cuz I was scared to face the questions to come. Getting out of a married life gave me relief. But also a little ache in my heart too. Where does my comfort zone lies now? I thought retirement would make space for all joys to come uninvited into my life. Nothing but emptiness remained. It took the room to itself.

For days, months actually as I remember it, passed and nothing exciting enough came in my way. New friends, new love, new job, new hobby. There was nothing new. It felt like, as if I'm holding a dictionary. I've read the meaning of life-terms a thousand times and know it all by heart. Even if something 'new' would knock on my door, I cared not to open it and scroll through the pages to find its meaning; for I knew it already. The hope to find a moderation was dead. Was I too tired to cherish it all again? Will I ever find the strength to take life as it comes?

I had no plans to extend my retirement for life. But it took too long than expected to come out of my shell. I needed something so as to add excitement to my life, only I didn't know what it could be. My little journey to find what that 'something' could be, earned me a favour. A friend. A friend who's exactly another variant of me. Had I turned down his offer to join the yacht cruise, I would still be wandering here and there searching for answers, while all what I needed was lying right there, in the deep blue ocean.

TBC....

© the_woman