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To Live
Why are people depressed when they have everything? A question, 17 year old me then had approached without regard to the sensitivity of the matter concerning another student at the time.(I would not be addressing as it involves the privacy of another). Unbeknownst to me, the naivety and the rude remarks of my young self would soon be learning of a completely different life. One that pushed me off the edge, submerged me in cold waters, stranded in darkness to what I identified as, purgatory.
My Purgatory, a hell on earth. From what I’m aware of, no man in this world is free of bonds to the earth we walk, be it good deeds or sin. The two concepts our race were born into. But what if I were to tell you, that the worst judgement we face in this world is not by the authorities of man but from ourselves ? To actively condemn yourself by standards of what you deem right and wrong, by the taunts you whip yourself with day in, day out without rest. A life that lives and hangs on the scale of the righteousness you created, always weighing down, almost sacrificial.
What I did not know then, was the cry for help. Even with all the materials in the world, a soul hanging by a balance of one’s burden was unable to see it’s importance while faced with oneself’s desire to live; be it in light or darkness. Even with friends and family constantly surrounding them; ears that craved peacefulness, deafened by the loudness surrounding them.
Why did I not see or hear this? Because I too was slowly slipping into purgatory. It’s easier to lose yourself to the grandeur of this world than it is to recover from the burns of its wrath.
© Adi Joséphine
My Purgatory, a hell on earth. From what I’m aware of, no man in this world is free of bonds to the earth we walk, be it good deeds or sin. The two concepts our race were born into. But what if I were to tell you, that the worst judgement we face in this world is not by the authorities of man but from ourselves ? To actively condemn yourself by standards of what you deem right and wrong, by the taunts you whip yourself with day in, day out without rest. A life that lives and hangs on the scale of the righteousness you created, always weighing down, almost sacrificial.
What I did not know then, was the cry for help. Even with all the materials in the world, a soul hanging by a balance of one’s burden was unable to see it’s importance while faced with oneself’s desire to live; be it in light or darkness. Even with friends and family constantly surrounding them; ears that craved peacefulness, deafened by the loudness surrounding them.
Why did I not see or hear this? Because I too was slowly slipping into purgatory. It’s easier to lose yourself to the grandeur of this world than it is to recover from the burns of its wrath.
© Adi Joséphine
