2020 ki mahamaari se hone waale lockdown ka waqt tha jab mai aam dinon ki tarah subah jaldi uthh ke kasrat nahi karta tha na bhaagte huye naashta aur na hee roz jaise shirt pant tie pehen ke roz marra ke upari sukh dene waale kaamon mei uljha raha.
Ek muddat ke sinhavalokan(Retrospection) aur aatmanireekshan (Introspection) ke baad, Shaam ki chaye ki chuskiyan lete huye ek vichaar aaya, jis se aisa mehsoos hone laga ki koi flight pakadni hai magar raaste pe jaam hai, ya pareeksha samaapt hone mei chand minute baaki hain aur kaafi sawaalon ke jawaab likhne baaki hai, ya aise jaise sahi samay pe ek mareez ko aspatal pauhchana hai warna koi anhoni ho sakti hai aur wo Satyam nahi rakh pa raha, ya aisa ki koi zaroori kagaz waqt rehte client ko pohonchana hai magar gaadi kharaab hai.

Aaspaas poore shaant vatavaran ke bawajood ek neendein uda dene wala shor tha mann mei !

Duniya ki har wo cheez jo koi insaan paana chahega wo sab tha mere paas. Tandrust shareer, acche rishte- Parivaar mei mata,pita, biwi,bacche. Acchi kamaayi wala kaarobaar, Dost rishtedaar sabkucch tha.
Lekin wo kya tha jo mere aatmanireekshan aur sinhavalokan ke waqt mei mann mei aisi khalbali si macha gaya ?!

Wo kya kammi thi jo mujh jaise sampoorn insaan ko hila ke rakh gaya, iss kadar ki mehsoos hone laga ki maine jeevan Jiya nahi hai balki sirf uske palon se guzran hun, mai zinda nahi tha shayad bass saanse le raha tha.
Wo dil jhanjhod dene wala ehsaas tha uss sacchai se rubaru hona ki maine zindagi jeete jeete sab upari khushian kamaayi hain aur apne dil ke liye kamaaye hai sirf "PACCHTAAVE".

Daulat, aish aur araam, upari sukh toh de raha tha, duniya waalon ki nazar mei sab meri muthhi mei tha par wo Gehra sukh nahi mila mujhe jo maine zindagi ko apni sharton pe ji ke mehsoos kia hota!

Mahamaari aur lockdown ki wajah se loog marr rahe thay par mujhe ehsaas hua ki mai shayad zinda laash ki tarah apni zindagi bita raha tha usse jee nahi raha tha!
Tabhi socha unn sab pehluon ke baare mei sochun jinko mai apne hisaab se jeeta aur dunia ke dabaav mei na aata toh kya hota.
Agar mai subah 5 baje uthne ki jagah raat ko der tak jaag ke wo apna pasandeeda show dekh leta toh doston se baat kar pata aur aanand leta.
Agar mai subah jaldi uthne ki jagah subah ki thodi aur neend leta uska ehsaas alag hee hota.
Har din saatvik aahaar kha ke jo swaad nahi liye uska gehra pacchtaava hai.
Uss sehat ka bhi kya karna tha jo ek mahamari ki wajah se lifeline ke utaar chadaav ko ek seedhi line mei kabhi bhi badal sakti thi !
Ek aur ehsaas ki samjhauta kar ke apni premika se shaadi karke uske saath jeevan bitaane ki jagah maine bina mann ke jo apni biwi ke saath shaadi karke teen zindagian barbaad ki hai.
Ehsaas ki paisa kitna bhi ho jeb mei mahamaari jaisa waqt ameer se ameer ko anivarya vastuon ke liye mauthaaj bana deta hai !
Aise mei note nahi dost kaam aate hai, jinko Maine sirf naam ke taur pe apna saathi maana hua tha!
Ehsaas ye bhi tha ki jis paise ko kamaane mei mai itna wyast ho gaya ki apni sabse keemti cheez apni sacchi khushion ko gawa baitha tha wo toh bura waqt aane pe meri jeb cchod jaate par sacchay dost kabhi nahi cchodte.
Adventure sports toh kiye lekin uss mazze aur Khoobsurati se nahi balki sirf bacchon ki khushi ke liye.

Bacchon ke saath waqt bitaya par dil mei khalne waali kamion ki wajah se chidchida reh ke waqt bitaya.

Uss lockdown ne mujhe khud se ye poochne pe majboor kar dia ki ye jeevan bhi koi jeevan hai ?
Jahan sabkucch hote huye kucch bhi nahi hai !

Aaj 2025 mei mai sukoon se ye sab likh paa raha hun kyunki 2020 jaise ujaad saal mei Maine kucch aise fainsle liye jo har wo bahar se dekhne wala shaks galat kahega aur sochega ki 2020 ne meri zindagi bhi ujaad di,lekin mai behad khush hun zindagi ka har pal ji raha hun har burre mei kucch accha hone ka ek jeeta hua saboot hun.

Main apni premika ke sath Rahane Laga Hun, meri patni Jo mujhse vaise bhi Khush nahin thi unka aur apne bacchon ka kharch uthata hun aur unki dekh rekh bhi karta hun,aur bacchon ke sath hafte mein 5 din bitata hun.

Meri patni mere iss faisle ka Samman karti hai kyunki vah janti hai ki jo bhi mujhe karna pada vah halat they na ki meri Marzi, isiliye hum apne bacchon ke maata-pita hone ka rishta nibhaate hai.
Mere iss faisle mei meri patni ka behad bada sehyog hai isliye hum dost bhi hai.

Jeevan vo nahi jisme sabhi sukh suvidhaein ho, Jeevan toh wo hai jiska har pal mehsoos ho aur maut aane tak koi pacchtaava ya koi aisa waakya na ho jisme "kaash" ho. Ek mushkil raasta teh karna padhta hai lekin uske baad jo khushi milti hai wo amulya hai !
Sabse jyada sukhad ehsas hai,apne jeevan ko apni sharton pe jeena.
Warna dunia se jaate waqt khushian aur anubhav nahi balki ek "List of Regrets" le ke jaoge.