Men are manipulative, If I say this you might think that I am crazy or weird but I used to have crazy dream or call it fantasy. I know, but it all died when I saw my dad beating my mom she was pregnant maybe 7 or to 8 months. I remember it was 2000 in the morning my sister was still in bed she didn’t know what happened after that we became just happy family again. I was 6 back then but now I really understand what she has gone through as woman not just as my mom. Men use women as just tool; they use women as they wish at the end of the day makes you feel beautiful. Hey, that is how they manipulate you. Am telling you this because I saw my mom go through hell any woman would never wish to get through if they are able to see the future.I am telling this because it did affect me and my siblings most of it did affect me to the extent I am disgusted by men. The reason why I used the word disgusted is because when I was in high school I had 3 friends 2 were boys so one of them had crush on me and it was obvious, but what happened you won’t believe it.He took a bet, you might imagine what kind of bet he took you could feel betrayed. Here is what he did, he took a bet to date a friend of my roommate me and my roommate and her friend we were just friends we were in good term but it all ended when he come to spread rumours that I and him we kissed and worse he fingered me.In fact nothing happened he was just my best friend and he hated he did everything in his power to make me love him not as just best friend. He thought if he is with a friend of my roommate I would be jealous and come to him but for real I felt nothing other than that. In that night when finished eating our diner we sat in the dining room until all our friends were gone. We talked, laughed and after that we decided to go to sleep.In the morning we were back to normal but not to all people who knew me or my friends, they started to keep secrets from me they never told me what really was going on. I spent almost the whole a year not knowing what happened I ate with them like foolish, studying, laugh and do all those things best friends do together but I was stupid in all of them.After learning the truth I never told them that it was all rumours and what they hide from me either I kept everything to myself and acted normal but that night I cried like baby and that proved to me that I was right not trusting anyone that much to tell everything most of the time I was feeling guilty of keeping my secrets to myself while they told me everything maybe that was Karma.But actually my heart is broken in the pieces just like broken mirror it makes me feel depressed, hopeless and disgusted to the extend I don’t even love myself. Anyway I am not ending my story here I just started. So, when I finished high school I decided to have boyfriend and forget everything but that was just the beginning of what I call men are manipulative.I met this guy after high school he was a doctor and he was the first guy I kissed for the first time. When I kissed him I felt nothing no butterflies no nothing in few days I told him the truth so, we broke up before we even make it official. The second guy I dated we were together for a month and I just ghosted him. With him it was always awkward because I was older than him, he never treated me like his girlfriend.The real reason I ghosted him was because he had cycle of him and his friends where they could gather together and have sex with their friend’s girlfriends and he wanted to introduce me in that cycle but I come to know that before he even tell me. I come to know all of that from his friend who was my friend after that I never spoke to him I even deleted his number all his messages the fact that I was the one to text him first always killed me and today he wished me happy birthday and asked me to go out with him but don’t worry am not stupid.I have boyfriend now but he just don’t care at all today it was my birthday but he didn’t even text me to wish me happy birthday isn’t it crazy? You must wonder why I always fall for those kinds of guys. Yeah it’s because of how manipulative they are and I guess I am so easy to manipulate. Oh God I am just stupid he treats me like am not even… well you all understand but I never complain about anything in fact I never told anyone about him he doesn’t know my friends and I don’t know his. Is it because I never talked about my secrets? Hhh, I guess this is where I am putting this all secrets I call bad memories that never end well but anyway I am glad that I am still virgin that is also a secret I never told anyone. When they ask I say different, I know I am woman of secrets but you know what is crazy I am virgin at the age of 27 can somebody tell me that it is normal? That would put a smile on my face I guess. Before I finish this story I want to say thank you for listening to my story I am really glad that I come to find people like you who are willing to give their time to a stranger like me may you find happiness where you are, in fact happiness is all what we want we want to feel love and loved there is no need of feeling hatred and stressed we all deserve better after all happy birthday to me.

Written by Arlette Uwase

© Arlette Uwase