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Bell (hell) part 2
Grandma had a friend who had a house down in the keys, we could stay in.
it was nice an calm, not a sounds or soul around, but the constant buzzing and biting of too many mosquitoes. Grandmas sister lives up north florida in a farm town, where im her husband was the sheriff. closer to visiting my mom and a safe place to get way. everything is new now town from city. No friends, new school. but i was optimistic. starting school, it was ok. I played sports and was very good, so that helped make friends and meet people. but i started to realize they werent really my friends. I grew up in a family that is all white and im not. but i never fealt different. but this town was population 350 people, and i was the only datk skinned person. A teachers even made me sit on the floor. they would confiscate my things and wouldnt give them back. know all that my grandma was going through I didn't want to burden her. so i signed her name and got paddled by the principal, i kept it all inside. being called a nigger everyday, you start to wonder as a kid is it me? is there something wrong? going to school everyday and feeling the stares and hearing the names. being invited to house parties, but feeling like you are not really welcome, or people asking why arent you dancing? arent you supposed to be good at that? i lived on a farm, with horses, cows, chickens and goats. so that was my distraction from the negativity. out in the field feeding animals, on the go cart or the 4 wheeler, cleared my mind. but as soon as grandma forced me to go to the one baptist church in town or to the local craft fair, then again i would feel the stares and hear people say things, if not about me being of color, about others of color. Thankfully i had my younger sister . shes lighter complexion than i, so thankfully she diddidnt get bothered. but i tried to distracted her from the fact that we're there because our family was breaking up, and our mom was in prison.
so whatever i did she was with me. Being so close to my grandmother, i never wanted to leave her side, we would go on long car rides to nowhere. and follow rainbows to the end. After almost 4 years mom is coming home. feeling excited, and scared. will she go back to old way? will she be different? i guess we will just have to wait and find out.
© Ashlee B
it was nice an calm, not a sounds or soul around, but the constant buzzing and biting of too many mosquitoes. Grandmas sister lives up north florida in a farm town, where im her husband was the sheriff. closer to visiting my mom and a safe place to get way. everything is new now town from city. No friends, new school. but i was optimistic. starting school, it was ok. I played sports and was very good, so that helped make friends and meet people. but i started to realize they werent really my friends. I grew up in a family that is all white and im not. but i never fealt different. but this town was population 350 people, and i was the only datk skinned person. A teachers even made me sit on the floor. they would confiscate my things and wouldnt give them back. know all that my grandma was going through I didn't want to burden her. so i signed her name and got paddled by the principal, i kept it all inside. being called a nigger everyday, you start to wonder as a kid is it me? is there something wrong? going to school everyday and feeling the stares and hearing the names. being invited to house parties, but feeling like you are not really welcome, or people asking why arent you dancing? arent you supposed to be good at that? i lived on a farm, with horses, cows, chickens and goats. so that was my distraction from the negativity. out in the field feeding animals, on the go cart or the 4 wheeler, cleared my mind. but as soon as grandma forced me to go to the one baptist church in town or to the local craft fair, then again i would feel the stares and hear people say things, if not about me being of color, about others of color. Thankfully i had my younger sister . shes lighter complexion than i, so thankfully she diddidnt get bothered. but i tried to distracted her from the fact that we're there because our family was breaking up, and our mom was in prison.
so whatever i did she was with me. Being so close to my grandmother, i never wanted to leave her side, we would go on long car rides to nowhere. and follow rainbows to the end. After almost 4 years mom is coming home. feeling excited, and scared. will she go back to old way? will she be different? i guess we will just have to wait and find out.
© Ashlee B
