I was completely torn apart. I had the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest. I have made my kids my life and I love them more than anything. I cried every single day for 5 years. I still cry but not every day. My heart aches. I couldn't let him go. We had family get togethers at my sons grave, I know that sounds weird but we couldn't be without him. We finally stopped that after the sons in law didn't think it was...