November 14th, 2023

I felt so well in the morning. And now I’m feeling terrible again. Yesterday I had the worst day possible. By the end of the day, I was crying again. I’m still crying today. I feel exhausted. I’m physically and mentally tired. I have my period, too.

It started in biology. I was thinking about how perfect some people are or seem to be. I hate when people put up a façade, a wall to hide behind. They act perfect, they have great things in their lives. And I don’t. I try and I don’t. I’m not perfect.
I admit I’m not perfect. That’s what makes us human. But others don’t.
They smile and laugh every day, showing one side to themselves and it seems so fucking inauthentic.
I’m so tired of these people.

I’m jealous too. I’m jealous of even the people I dislike. They at least have friends. My former roommates even bonded. They’re best friends now. How amazing.
I see her in class, she’s answering questions, doing well, and helping others. She’s too nice it seems fake. Its almost too good. Someone can’t look that perfect and that put together. I don’t see any other side to her. And it seems like she doesn’t want to be my friend either. I tried to hang out with her. But she had excuses. She’s only around when its convenient, because we’re in the same class.
She has a family, she has an apartment, she’s so “independent”. She has a boyfriend. She...