Firstly a little deposition. I was raised Christian, my mother's side was catholic and my father's Baptist. So there was a time when I was going to church events a few times a week. I had no fun experiences in the catholic church even as a young child I went to adult service with my grandmother and between all standing, kneeling, praying, and singing. I was always at a lost with what I was supposed to be doing next and worried about doing something wrong and Lsticking out that it would freak me out. Never learned anything about God or being a Christian. The only thing I focused on was blending it and waiting out the clock.
Now the Baptist church was very different. I went to a children's service on Sunday and would listen to some really charismatic youth pastors read us bible stories. I personally really enjoyed the stories and the talking about them with other kids my age. I truly loved the community aspect of church and the entertainment value it had for a kid. The shit started hitting the fan for me around 11, which is the last year you can go to the youth service. Also was at the same time when I started to question the reality of bible stories. Yet the bigger problem was I felt like I was being shunned the last few months I attended. It all started during a bible study i was being overly defiant wasn't following the rules was being disruptive and was non stop questions about everything being taught. I had never fully bought into tree the entirety of the bible being truth. So I try became a joke to me and a game where i would spend my time at church conceiving the silliest, most condescending questions I could...