When I started first, I wanted to be original, so I wrote the first thing on my mind. No ill feelings just thoughts that I wished were reality. I sat in the car that day and noticed how far I had come and how much I had changed. The thing is I think I forgot what was important and that is originality. I sought attention and changed, stopped writing feelings and started constructing things that rhyme but did not align with me that much. I made a friend but I want to stop it all now. Writing is medicine, I forgot about that. I started using writing wrongly and oh God, I am so sorry to myself for doing that to myself. Now, I will work hard, but not just hard, I will work right. I will not overdo it. I won't misuse writing, I won't overdose on my medicine, it deserves to be followed as prescribed by the doctor, my heart. So, I wanna surrender and start doing the right things, the right way. It will be my feelings and my thoughts. Sadly, I am no longer that small girl who wrote right, I grew, things happened, I became a girl who no longer had only happy thoughts but painful thoughts inclusive. At times with the right music, I could feel happy, while other times, reality hit like a bitch. I have changed, I don't know whether it's for the best or the worst but I guess I will figure it out some other time. Billie Eilish once said don't post your feelings, just don't but when you are desperate for someone to hear you and understand you, you tend to breach protocol.

Bye and I need a break, so I will get one.

© Ifeamareme Uchechi Favour

#thoughts #musicislife #tired #desperate #gettingbackontrack #notgivingupyet #notgivingupever #break