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How "Death" made me appreciate "Life"
#WritcoStoryPrompt115
Do you want to live because you are afraid to die? If you think something should be written about the question, go ahead and do so.
_______________________
Such a beautiful prompt. My thoughts about death or to be more precise life have always been it's a routine. When you are kid you go to school, do studies. When you grow up you go to your job and work. When you have family, you provide for them and take their care and then those things add to the routine. When it's all over, you simply die and it's end of the story. I never felt the beauty of life before I actually came close to death.
It was the time when I was Kota, Rajasthan, preparing for my exam. My preparation was not good at all, and it was confirmed that I wasted my father's hard earned money. During those days, life just felt like that disgusting cigarette advertisement that you want to skip as soon as possible. If I be honest, I did think maybe I should kill myself.
While I was conflicting with these thoughts on regular basis, it happened in my locality. A kid just as my age suicides. When I heard the news, I was horrified. I wasn't sure how to react, especially since I was myself thinking about such an act before. But that day, I saw his father crying. His screams and tears just broke me. I just never wanted my father to be like that.
Even this experience not changed my view on how life is useless. But definitely made me respect the relationships we have a lot more. We feel sometimes no one loves us or no one will care if we are not here. But it's just not true. Not everyone is good at showing love, especially parents. Now when I look back, I was right. Even though I disappointed my parents, I never saw a single drop of hate towards me. It was always more of the worry about my wellbeing.
Let's fast forward to June, 2023. I was now doing home study using online means. It was this time when I met a guy on online platform. We would discuss about study and random fun stuff. He always used to talk about how he wants to go back to his childhood city and meet his friends there. But unfortunately God had some other plans.
He got Leukemia at such an early age. If you don't know what that means, it's Blood Cancer. He had very limited time. Even in his last phase of his life, he asked for donation so that he could lessen the burden for his family. Even though he managed to get 2 lakh rupees, it's wasn't enough. He was no more...
That incident shook me from bottom of my heart. Now all his aspirations, all his dreams, where are they? Was everything he did till now was for nothing? I couldn't eat well for 2 days even though we never actually seen each other. During his last few days of life he said, "Jee (exam I was preparing for) isn't everything." It made me question what exactly is life. What's the actual reason? While there are some who don't want to live, while some who regret they couldn't live one day longer.
After a lot of self debate, I understood. Life is nothing just a time we spend making ourselves happy. We interact with people and build relations because that makes us happy. We earn and buy things which makes us happy. We make ourselves uncomfortable sometimes and work for self improvement, but ultimately it's also for greater happiness.
I do fear death because ultimately life has to end somewhere and there won't be anymore family, friends and happiness. But I am grateful for everything I have, every single moment. I might have hurted a lot of people and even lost a lot of them, but not anymore. I am thankful to everyone who are part of my this beautiful journey called life. Maybe we never meet, or talk just one sentence, but what matters to me is the smile it put on my face. Thank you everyone for being with me ❤. I fear it might not last forever but something is always better than nothing.
© Dark_Flinch
Do you want to live because you are afraid to die? If you think something should be written about the question, go ahead and do so.
_______________________
Such a beautiful prompt. My thoughts about death or to be more precise life have always been it's a routine. When you are kid you go to school, do studies. When you grow up you go to your job and work. When you have family, you provide for them and take their care and then those things add to the routine. When it's all over, you simply die and it's end of the story. I never felt the beauty of life before I actually came close to death.
It was the time when I was Kota, Rajasthan, preparing for my exam. My preparation was not good at all, and it was confirmed that I wasted my father's hard earned money. During those days, life just felt like that disgusting cigarette advertisement that you want to skip as soon as possible. If I be honest, I did think maybe I should kill myself.
While I was conflicting with these thoughts on regular basis, it happened in my locality. A kid just as my age suicides. When I heard the news, I was horrified. I wasn't sure how to react, especially since I was myself thinking about such an act before. But that day, I saw his father crying. His screams and tears just broke me. I just never wanted my father to be like that.
Even this experience not changed my view on how life is useless. But definitely made me respect the relationships we have a lot more. We feel sometimes no one loves us or no one will care if we are not here. But it's just not true. Not everyone is good at showing love, especially parents. Now when I look back, I was right. Even though I disappointed my parents, I never saw a single drop of hate towards me. It was always more of the worry about my wellbeing.
Let's fast forward to June, 2023. I was now doing home study using online means. It was this time when I met a guy on online platform. We would discuss about study and random fun stuff. He always used to talk about how he wants to go back to his childhood city and meet his friends there. But unfortunately God had some other plans.
He got Leukemia at such an early age. If you don't know what that means, it's Blood Cancer. He had very limited time. Even in his last phase of his life, he asked for donation so that he could lessen the burden for his family. Even though he managed to get 2 lakh rupees, it's wasn't enough. He was no more...
That incident shook me from bottom of my heart. Now all his aspirations, all his dreams, where are they? Was everything he did till now was for nothing? I couldn't eat well for 2 days even though we never actually seen each other. During his last few days of life he said, "Jee (exam I was preparing for) isn't everything." It made me question what exactly is life. What's the actual reason? While there are some who don't want to live, while some who regret they couldn't live one day longer.
After a lot of self debate, I understood. Life is nothing just a time we spend making ourselves happy. We interact with people and build relations because that makes us happy. We earn and buy things which makes us happy. We make ourselves uncomfortable sometimes and work for self improvement, but ultimately it's also for greater happiness.
I do fear death because ultimately life has to end somewhere and there won't be anymore family, friends and happiness. But I am grateful for everything I have, every single moment. I might have hurted a lot of people and even lost a lot of them, but not anymore. I am thankful to everyone who are part of my this beautiful journey called life. Maybe we never meet, or talk just one sentence, but what matters to me is the smile it put on my face. Thank you everyone for being with me ❤. I fear it might not last forever but something is always better than nothing.
© Dark_Flinch
