Years after graduation, a lot of things happened. I was not in the same class with the nerd. Still, he was the campus’ crush. Only then did I realize he was actually a good-looking guy. He was handsome, and he’s got a great smile. He was always surrounded by people. He played a lot of sports, and girls would gather to cheer him up. I was left looking at him from a distance. I started to look at him as a guy, not just a friend. I realized my feelings, when I couldn’t spend time with him like I used to.
I became just like one of his fans, coming to cheer him up when he played. A lot might see him as a perfect guy, but I knew his flaw, he felt scared too. He was easy to have pressure when people set expectations to him. That was when I decided to repay him.
One time, my mother knocked my door, telling me he was outside the house to see me. I was happy. When I saw him, he smiled at me and asked if he could borrow my guitar as he is having a performance. His father was a politician and he was tasked to perform in an event. Behind his smile, I knew he was scared: scared of making mistake. I gave him my guitar. I knew he had his own, he just made an excuse to borrow mine. I believe he wanted to tell me something. He left with my guitar, and without another word.
I smiled as I changed my clothes and attended the event. I hid myself in a crowed. When his father called for his performance, he stood there looking at the people. I just knew he didn’t have much confidence to himself. He started strumming his voice were shaking. People just kept silent, watching him. I knew he was nervous that I walked through the crowd for him to see me. I waved my hands to get his attention. I knew he was surprised to see me and might have caused him to be scared even more. I just smiled and signaled him to calm down. I even sing along with him. I just knew people are watching me, but I never left my eyes on him, trying to create a safe zone for him. I just kept my smile and acted like I enjoyed his song, which I really did. His voice went better, I even see him smile as he was singing.
People that time was enjoying his performance as well. There were girls who were taking his pictures, and videos. They were talking about how he put together those lines from different songs of a single artist. I felt him enjoying his own performance. I just felt proud. The crowd gave him a round of applause, and I went home right after his performance.
After that night, he would go to my class during breaks and sits beside me, playing with my phone. He was the campus crush so I, too could get the attention from others. I was uncomfortable so I avoided him. I would stay in the bathroom during breaks so he couldn’t find me. I was not confident. I was fat that time. I do not know how to use make up, and I didn’t even act like a girl. They said I looked like an old lady. Being with him, I thought it was not a good idea.
Things changed when I hanged out with my friends. I had few drinks, but I was still sober. He came to join us. Of course, girls flirted with him. He was nice, and talked to them. I felt bad like I didn’t...