tic-tok-tik-tok...
the only sound in the room was what the clock made, the feeling of heartache ,it won't subside..
it's painful, I can't express..
it seems it occurs more often..
it's chocking my breath and my heartbeat takes a rollercoaster ride, sometimes tears escape and then I just come to this notepad cry my miseries with ink.
That beautiful facade of happy life it's a parasite devouring my soul.
at this point I don't know how to avoid this or ask someone, it's just these non living things that help me escape from it.
sleeping pills - my diary- some music - and my tea.

life is drowning pool of monochrome feelings coloured monochrome.
veins throbbing so I could reach out to the silverware
I could just do nothing but end it in red, but I still hope it's not the only way to end my blue.

I'm afraid if maybe they save me I'll be a bigger disappointment, and anyway nobody knows about the heartache...
lemme keep another secret, lemme take another breath, just write another poem and then open windows of my mind to find my devils lurking in darkness of soul and begin another battle.

maybe I can conquer them,
maybe I'll get well
maybe it'll be another nightmare
and go away in a swift movement.

let's give a try ...
© Weirdo