That day I had very little desire to go to group therapy. I had argued with my mother in the car, for the umpteenth time, and what's more, the last time a viper in the group preferred to judge me than keep his mouth shut. In short, I really had a devil in my hair. I got out of the car slamming the door, I noticed that my mother was upset, but I preferred to act proud, i was agitated, nervous, too many things were boiling in my body, and I couldn't stand it when that happened, I just wanted to lock myself in a closet and kicking and screaming. Janette, one of the TERPs, greeted me at the entrance and asked me how I was. I obviously had a complete shutdown, I didn't feel like talking that day, or working, I would have crouched in a corner of the room with headphones on so as not to hear those chickens. They said they chose us on purpose, thinking we would work well together. However, for a couple of weeks working had become practically impossible. That day it was particularly hot, so they decided to let us go up to the terrace, where we had lunch, and before starting they made us take a cigarette break. I was much further away from the other four girls who occasionally exchanged a few words with each other. Then there was the fifth, the viper, the one who had given herself permission to judge and make those who already felt like shit feel like shit. But who the hell was she to judge? I was smoking my cigarette with headphones on, concentrating on looking at the horizon, and still very nervous, and I was constantly judging myself badly for not even saying hello to my mother. I had barely touched the sandwich she had made for me. I made the mistake of turning to look at him when my gaze fell on Alyssa, who was staring at me. "VIPER!" my brain screamed involuntarily. Luckily she was smart enough to look away and finish her cigarette in peace because of her business. When educators and TERPs returned we started by taking out our weekly diaries where we wrote how we were doing and how we might have behaved during moments of great difficulty. I was about to start reading because, even though I promised myself I wouldn't talk, I reasoned that this was the only place I could bring out my problems. But a voice above mine began to speak. I stopped a little confused but listened: "Once upon a time there was a perfect girl, who had a mother and a father. She was lucky, because together with her family she was happy. But as in all perfect stories you always discover the 'intruder. The truth was that that girl was not perfect or even happy with her parents, her mother demanded that she be like that, and her father never spoke to her. At school she was the "pretty queen" and it was the only place where he could vent the frustration she kept inside at home. So when she saw someone weaker she attacked him. But one day she met a girl, a girl who, despite her shyness and insecurity, felt she was strong. They went to the same school, but they began to get to know each other in a therapeutic group, where even the perfect girl was actually very fragile, but she was afraid to show it. So one day she seized the opportunity and out of pure stupidity she allowed herself to attack that girl she admired so much. She realized late that it was neither right not smart to do it in a therapy group, both for the girl in question and for the other participants..." Alyssa paused, now never with disappointment and tears in her eyes, then she started again: "Yes Adele, I'm referring to you and I apologize for allowing myself to judge you and your life without knowing absolutely anything...". She finished reading her diary and she sat back down on the floor.
© PityPoem