I am all alone in my room lying on the cold floor listening to the loud sound of thunder. I always loved the sound of rains as it talked to my soul. I peered at the Raindrops splashing on my windowpane. I lazily moved my upper body away from the floor and sat on my knees to make designs on the window using my forefinger however, it was, again and again, getting covered with mist and raindrops running down the window. The white layer of fog literally made me unable to see other towers and building and even the sky. I loved the pleasant fragrance of wet soil entering my nostrils which were already blocked because I had cried on the previous night. Trees and branches are waving from right to the left direction which looked more like a slow dance. Meanwhile, Bushy leaves drew my attention towards its beautiful sound of brushing against each other as its branches were in motion. I wrapped myself in my favourite blanket to get the perfect feel as I had a hot, steamy bowl of Maggi right in front of me. What could be more peaceful than an evening like this? I slightly closed my eyes and tried to feel the wind caressing my face. Literally, nobody on this planet loved me besides nature. Only the enormous sky gave me hope, only rains made me happy, only mountains brought peace to my restless soul, only birds talked to me and of course, how can I forget my green woollen blanket. Well, my blanket is my best buddy. My blanket knew my taste in music, my blanket saw me dreaming, wiped off my tears when nobody else was even aware of it and also covered up my mouth to lessen the voice of my sobs. I am trying to live my best life in these moments blessed by nature because I am pretty sure that the next minute I am gonna get back to my solitude yet chaotic life. Okay, I take my words back, it is not life. What I live what I've been living is not something we can call life. I remember the words of my so-called friend, 'Shaheen first go and get a life for yourself '. Yes, he was right I should really get one for myself. I'm 17 and this is just the beginning of my journey yet I'm soo suicidal. Currently, we all are forced to stay inside the four walls because of this pandemic but when it comes to my life, this Lockdown makes no difference because I'm locked for ages. I'm suffocating for decades. It seems like my soul is locked inside a cage. And the biggest tragedy is - there isn't any escape because this cage doesn't have a perfect key. Is there any way out of my own thoughts? How can I stop my heart which keeps on wandering in the past? How can I insist my heart to resist? Where should I hide myself from the worst flashback that follows?
Is there any escape?
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#rain #love #pain #life #quarantine #firststory #nature #heartbreak #escape
© shaheen