I have spent a few months considering what the monster of the abyss is perhaps the monster is my fears. perhaps its it's my self loathing. or perhaps its it's the woman in the mirror unhindered by morals but at the same time unhindered by lies. can we say that life is enjoyable. I don't think so in fact life is nothing but a painful mess of tragedy and evil. justice isn't allways done. why can't I stay in my castle of glass? why cant I keep my heart under lock and key? people ask me why can't you just think happy thoughts? I WANT to think happy thoughts. its it's just too painful to do so. Why have friends when they will just end up leaveing you in the end...