This was a question asked to me by a friend when we were trying to figure out what exactly I wanted in life.

I started listing a lot of qualities, things I wanted to be, goals I wanted to achieve, the good woman part, lovely mum and a great intercessor.

Then, he asked, “what characters in the Bible do you really want to be like?”

I mentioned, Esther, Deborah, Ruth, Sarah, Abigail, Mary( the mother of Jesus). He smiled and said to me, “ Go home and do some research on them and know which of their roles you will be able to do”.

At first, it seemed so easy to me,but what I failed to figure out was what exactly can I do when their responsibilities are been given to me?

At a point, I began to ask myself some questions:

If I really want to become like Queen Esther, “am I ready to die for my people? Would I be able to stand for my own people in the face of crisis and fight for them?
Or would I just cry and lament on how life has been unfair? Would I let my fears of approaching the king because of a rule to overwhelm me? Would I give up on those that need my help and hide as a queen and tell them to do whatever they like?”

If I would be like Deborah, “would I wage war when others are oppressing my people? Would I pray and speak in the language of the unknown? Would I enter into the secret place of the most high and battle with words?

Or would I just turn and run? Would I just sit and let the Barack and his men do their jobs? Would I hide and wait for the right person to do my work?”

If I would be like Ruth, “would I be able to stay back after facing so many crisis in my life? Would I go embark on the journey with my mother-in-law? Would I ever be there for my loved ones and don’t stay away from them? Would I allow God to work his ways upon me? Would I be obedient enough to listen to instructions?

Or would I say, “I have no business here anymore?”. Ruth could have left her mother in-law, but she clung to her. Would I just run off not taking my responsibilities? Would I just blame God for taking away all I care for?

If I really want to be like Sarah, “would I keep believing that God is God? Would I just wait on him for his will to be done? Would I keep praying and doing good to people? Would I worry about my husband and still encourage him to keep following God?

Or would I just turned my back at my faith and say, “there is no God”. Would I just give up losing all hope and wait no more? Would I tell my husband to get angry at God because he refused to give us our own child? Would I just count what I have done: the sacrifices, the obedience, the consistency, the prayers and tagged them nothing because of my days of barrenness. Would I make things harder for my husband because I believe his God has abandoned us? Would I just sit and get angry everyday because of my circumstances?

If I would be like Abigail, “would I go ahead and plead for mercy upon my household? Would I bring peace upon a man that is hard to deal with? Would I speak good words to my enemies and let them not to harm me?

Or would I sit back and allow them deal with my family? Would I say, “it was never my business”. Would I sit and watch my loved ones perish for a sin of a man? Would I say, “he never liked me, so let them kill him.”

It was tough for her. Dealing with a mean man and being in a toxic relationship with her husband, but her love and the love of God surpassed all her pains. Would I just run off and say, “at least, am free from this sorrow.”

If I would be like Mary, “would I sit and watch my child grow knowing fully he will die soon? Would I sit teach him the good ways of the Lord? Would I stand and watch him being nailed to the cross? Or would I just find a way to stop it from happening? Won’t I fight God or ask him to change his mind? Would I cry and stop them from taking him away? Would I keep my emotional and allow God to do his will without getting into his ways?

Sometimes, I do wonder what kind of woman would I be? The kind of mother to my kids? The kind of wife to my spouse? The kind of intercessor to my people and a lot of them.

And I will always say to myself that, “I will surrender and let God work through me. It is not by my might or my power, but by thy spirit of God”.

Then I leave you with this question:
"What kind of woman or man do you want to be?"



© eve
#love # wordofGod #whodoyouwanttobe?