How come it is so easy to write when I have no intention to, but when I have to, I cannot get a word on the page. Someone needs to research the science behind this and it's not going to be me.

Anyways, More news.. That girl I mentioned before.. Asked me out last night. Why am I not more excited about this? I don't even know, but I didn't reject her.
I told her five dates. We will go on five dates and then decide then, considering how we've never met in person, this seems like the best bet. I tried doing one of those "cool Kdrama" things but I don't know if that came across to her like that. I am nervous though, no mistake with that. She also lives in another, bigger bustling city than I do, so meeting up with become a pain. I don't care though. Even if it doesn't work out, she's still my friend. A new friend and I care about my friends. And maybe this one I might care more about.

Back to school. Yes, I am writing this in the classroom. Maybe this will get my creative flow going. I'm just trying this out so I can get some work done. I need a rough draft by Monday, but I perfect too much so I don't know if I'll recieve much feedback. Also, next week my teacher is partnering us up with a random person in our class to go over our writing with. I hope I get someone who doesn't just tell me "It looks good"
That's all I get. It doesn't help.

I want to talk to people. I want to communicate and make new friends, but everyone just seems so distant. They have their own friend groups, I just feel like an after thought. I would rather have no friends in classes if that's what I am. An after thought.
I'm friendly, right? I might be secluded and isolate myself from people, but I have good intentions. I'm just overly shy. Is there anything wrong with that? God, I can't even get a compliment out.

I love so much about people. I also hate them. I love their styles, hair, eyes, but that might just sound strange to them. Some random stranger coming up to you and complimenting your eyes? Or hands, I have an interesting admiration with hands. (Not weird I promise). However, no matter how hard I want to go up to them and say it, I cannot. My feet plant on the floor and it's as if I sprout roots in a second and they dig into the ground beneath me. It's just so hard.

If you have any suggestions please let me know 🙏🏼

© Tannni