As I hold the pen in my shaky hand
Thoughts plague my broken mind
I think of how much I truly understand
Once again, I think of the time
But how much time do I truly have?
Before I am blessed to leave?
Before I can go and close my eyes and just finally feel like I'm free
And how much time have I wasted?
How many things can I do?
How much light have I actually tasted?
Since this is the truth
I watch the blood fall to the floor
Oh just smile and be happy
There's so much to be grateful for
A lie I create evermore to my face
As I scream and fight from this place
To keep me in line with the pain on my mind and stand still while I desperately watch the hands move on the time
Each move striking more fear
Each fear causing a tear
Each moment that passes
I burn to more ashes
And more tears well up in my eyes
And they slowly drip down my cheek
I grasp for the air
Move my hair
And try my best to have a good week
This is a burden to bear
This has been trapping me still
I cannot move and I cannot see
Stay still and just try to be
Relax and just take a few breaths
It'll all clear up with some rest
Still burden conquering me
Burdened by just trying to be
Staying still isn't working
I can't even be certain
That I will get to be free
Let me go from this still burden
Let me rise up once again
Allow me to prosper and do what I can
Please I feel mad
I'm insane
I can hear it ticking in my brain
I can see swirls of dark I can feel all the pain
It's eerie voice whispers my name
And I can feel it crawling into my bed
As it seeps itself in my head
And I squirm and I cry
I scream out and wonder why
This has happened to me
Still burden, I need you to leave
Still burden you're blinding me please
You're crushing my hope
You're crushing my dreams
I'm at the end of my rope
Still burden I want to be free
I'm pleading, I'm begging,
I'm digging a grave
For you, still burden
So you can just be
A wonderful grave for you
I won't let you take me too
You can try all you want but I will not go
I will be free and I want you to know
I am still grateful to be here
I am still grateful to write
I am still grateful that I try to fight
And I will do so with all might
I still have a little bit left
I will not be a soul that is stole
I will not be the one that the reaper will find
I will keep trying to find my mind
Still burden
Just let me be
© Sierra321