Cody and Me

Chapter 1

I thought about him as this kind soul who was never mean to me. At times, I would just picture nothing but his face. I would probably have some really stupid dreamy expression on my face. I could just remember his brown hair and eyes. His perfect freckles. His pale skin. I remember dreamily thinking Cody… I was in love. I was more than in love, I was obsessed.

I was sitting on the multicolored bench of pastel shades, next to my friend. My strawberry blonde hair blew in the wind. My icy blue eyes captured the image of my friend. She had stripes of dirty blonde hair mixed in with her perfect blonde pulled back in a tight ponytail. She too had glittering, Icy blue eyes.

“I have a crush,” I declared.
“Oh my God! Who is it!?” Eve squealed. Her voice was so high pitched it nearly gave me a headache.
“Cody!” I confidently answered. I had been excited about spilling the beans.
“You should go for it!” Eve not so suggested.
“Yeah, I'm going to!” I agreed. A wide grin spread across my face as I spoke eagerly.

After school I messaged Cody on Kids Messenger. I asked him if he wanted to play in the bush across the road from my house. He didn't reply. I tried again and again every day. I began to get frustrated, I was spamming him, my blue bubble not getting the Gray response. I felt upset that he wasn't responding. I just wanted to express my feelings to him.

Chapter 2

“Can I play inside?” Cody asked at My front door. His voice is kind, he suggests things genuinely.
“Let me ask my parents” I quickly ducked away from the door to ask Dad. I was smiling one of my genuine smiles, not the forced ones that look like I'm about to murder someone. When I returned I said, “yes you can.” I also talked kindly, but my voice was a more memey kind of one.

He stepped inside. “Let's go out the back” Cody said. “I wanna have a lightsaber battle with your brother.” I just wanted to hang out with him. Me and AG used to have so much fun with him. Now he only hangs out with my brother.

Cody and Jayden were outside on the grass while I watched them use toy lightsabers to pretend to fight. I watched Cody's blue one zoom around, sometimes hitting up against Jayden's blue lightsaber. All you needed was for the lightsabers to glow, one a bad guy, the other a good guy and a dark mood for this to be real.

When Jayden lost a battle, I took the opportunity to talk with Cody.

“Cody… Can we talk in private?” I nodded towards the Car port that was right next to us. It, like usual, held the trailer. We never used the trailer though.
“Of course we can talk” Cody led me to the car port. I felt content in his company.

When we arrived there, I looked up into his sparkling brown eyes. “I- I love you…” I whispered. Warmth flooded my face and I bet I was beet red.
Cody looks startled by what I had said. “I was not expecting that” He said honestly with a chuckle. His voice was slow, but still kind and respectful.
“Can we date?” I asked hopefully.
“Yes,” Cody answered.

I wave my hands and jump up and down on the spot excitedly. “Yay!” I squeal excitedly. Jayden was probably very confused because I wasn't trying to hide my celebration. I usually celebrated like that, I didn't care too much what people thought of me.

Chapter 3

I messaged him, saying that I wanted to play across the road from my house. He said that he'll be there as soon as he can. I got my shoes on to get ready. I'm so excited, I haven't told my parents yet because I think like a Gacha Character.

He arrived at my front door after about a minute. “Ready to go?” Cody asked me. I had fallen in love with his voice. He was just so dreamy.
“Yeah,” I said, opening the screen door. I was more casual, I didn't show the timidness that people say you should experience on your first date. Well, this is the closest to what could be a date since I don't want my parents to find out about us.

We crossed to the other side of the road and followed the path until we spotted a dirt path. We had brought our skooters down to play on the jumps that this path leads to.

We had some fun, we never jumped off the lumps of dirt with our skooters. It was still fun to ride along them though. It felt free, and fast. You could feel the wind rushing past you and through your hair. It felt like you were weightless.

I enjoyed every minute of the time I had spent with him. It was amazing and magical. He made me feel this certain way. Like I wasn't a whole person without him. I was certain of everything so far. I was fully content with life, even more so now that I have found Cody as my special someone.

“Want to find some four leaf clovers?” Cody suggested. His voice led me away to another world. Perfectly magical.
“Yeah, that sounds lovely,” I agreed. I was all too casual for this. This is the best we could do for a date. That is without my parents finding out.

We rode down to the giant clover patch down one of the four footpaths. The clover patch was to the right and it wasn't in the bush, it was behind the bush. It seemed like a stock photo image. This part of the bush is devoid of life. Sure there were houses there, but I never paid any attention to them.

We got off our skooters and crouched down. We began to look at the clovers to find four leafed ones. We had a good chat while we did so. We spoke about all kinds of things and got excited when we would find a four leaf clover. We let the time pass by. The conversation slowly got more and more romantic.

The shining sun crept down the sky as we picked clovers for hours. The sunlight was gently warming our skin. It wasn't like we needed more freckles anyway.

“Alright, I'm going to head back,” I sighed feeling happy after we had picked five lucky clovers.
“Okay, you have two clovers and by holding the fifth one it's luck will be with both of us,” Cody explained. I believed every word that came out of his mouth.
“Okay,” I took the clovers from his hand for a second and then gave it back to him. I trusted that he knew what he was doing. I felt happy that this was a successful first date.

Chapter 4

He came to my front door this time. It was the weekend and I had just gotten changed out of my dance clothes. I liked dancing. It's a fun pastime instead of just watching YouTube.

“Do you want to play across the road?” Cody advocated. His voice was soft, his suggestion is just that, a suggestion, but he says it kindly too.
“Sure, I'd love to!” I agreed with pleasure. I loved spending time across the road with him.

We walked across the road again and played on the jumps with our skooters. The sun was shining overhead during the spring season. My eyes, a pale icy blue, twinkled under the welcoming sunlight. It was a lovely time in the spring air. Neither of us got affected by pollen.

Eventually, Cody suggested, “what do you think about kissing?”
“I don't like it,” I said honestly. My brows furrowed as the second date took a turn.
“What if we did it out of sight?” Cody proposed. He sounded desperate.
“Still no!” I refused. I didn't like kissing because of how wet it is. It wasn't a pleasant sensory experience. It's been that way since I was really little.
“Oh come on!” Cody pleaded. He sounded calm, as if he thought he was in control. Usually I didn't like that tone during an argument but for some reason this was different.
“No!” I was certain about my opinion on kissing. It was a no way area of love for me. I would blow a kiss when I left the car to go to school. That was my way of saying goodbye to my parents.

“Level five autistic people can see spirits.” Cody stated matter of factly. His voice seemed devoid of any tone come to think of it.
“Really!?” My eyes lit up with a sparkle of interest. I wondered whether he had level five autism or not. I wasn't, I was level one.
“And I'm level five autistic,” Cody said proudly. “They always said I was level one though,” He added. His voice seemed monotone as he said this.
“Okay…” I said with a tone telling the world I was impressed. It sounded nothing like my usual voice.
“And I can sense that you too are a level five autistic,” Cody proclaimed. His voice didn't change once.
“They said I was level one too!” I exclaimed. I was excited at my new found powers. I looked around to check if I could see or hear or see any spirits.

“I can tell if we're soul mates,” Cody continued. He sounded proud as he said this.
“Can you do it with us?” I asked hopefully. I was excited to see if I had found my soulmate.
“Of course,” Cody answered. He sat down and patted his lap with his pale skinned hand. “You have to sit on my lap.” I did exactly as he said. I looked up into his eyes.“Now we must kiss,”
“No!” I exclaimed. My eyes had a flare of anger in them. Of course I wouldn't kiss him. I didn't want to do the test any more. My brows were furrowed, almost as if I was confused. My expressions between confusion and anything negative were often similar.

When it came time to go back home, the sun was sloping down the sky. “We have to kiss,” Cody demanded. His tone remained plain as ever. “Otherwise the demons won't let our adventure end. It's like the end of an anime episode, a cliffhanger.” His voice was so matter of fact like when he said everything.
“Fine!” I snapped. Annoyance was edging into my voice, but also a bit of concern. My brows were furrowed. I didn't want our adventures to never end because I was too stubborn. I had to do this. Just this once.

We sat within sight of the path, even though he promised not to. “Do you want tongue or without tongue?” He asked.
“Without tongue,” I said, certain of my words. I felt like the feeling of tongue to tongue would be… disgusting. I don't get why people's tongues wriggle like eels when they kiss.

I sat on his lap and we kissed. It was short. When we pulled away, I felt unsure. I didn't feel love like you're supposed to. This was my first kiss and yet this didn't feel romantic for me. Why didn't I feel love? I should be feeling love?

Chapter 5

We were hanging out next to the fence that blocked off the local water tower. The sun was high up, it was a mostly cloudless day. I had been refusing to lean against the fence because I felt like it would be electrical. Even though Cody was touching it. The water tower was like a skyscraper, it towered above us.

“I heard a scream from the top of the water tower,” Cody spoke quickly, urgency seeping into his voice. He paused for a second. “My demons tell me that someone fell off.”
“Oh no!” I exclaimed. My hands flew to my mouth with surprise.
“It's too late for them,” Cody said sadly. My demons tell me she was pushed off. But we have to figure out who did it.”

***

When I was in the shower later on, I had a chance to think to myself. I can't hear my demons… why? It thought about this for a moment, my brows were furrowed as doubt lurked deep in my mind.

The next day we went out again. When we were at the same location we would always kiss, this happened.

“ADHD gives you special powers,” Cody stated factually. He seemed very proud.
“I have ADHD!” I said, I was enlivened. I loved the idea that I had new found powers.
“Me too, but soon they are going to put me on medication which stems the powers.”
“But I'm on medication,” my head dropped sadly. I was sad that I really didn't have powers.

Day after day we played across the road until one day the holidays began and I started to stay inside more over the span of the holidays. Me and Cody didn't hang out as much because I was allowed on my I-Pad all day.

Chapter 6

After the holidays, Cody came to my door.
“Want to play across the road?” He proposed. His voice was soft and welcoming.
“Sure!” I agreed. I was excited to have another adventure.

We walked across the road and then he asked me something. “Why didn't you kiss me? I see people kissing each other on sight after not being around them for months!” He quizzed. He sounded serious, as If I should have done it, like it was the right thing to do.
I felt bad. I didn't know I was supposed to kiss him on sight. It felt like he was secretly testing me on how much I loved him.
“You know,” I explained. “I don't want my parents to know about us.” I looked into his sparkling brown eyes, my trust was beginning to slip.
“Right,” Cody nodded. He sounded understanding. I was glad that it all worked out.

About a month later

I sat in my bedroom and thought over it. Should I tell my parents about us? I eventually came to a conclusion. I decided to leave a note on their pillow. The note read -

Dear Mum and Dad
For about a month I have been dating Cody. I don't know why I didn't want to tell you about this.
_Amelia

I quietly stepped into Mum and Dad's room. I doubted the decision with every step I took. But I knew this was the right thing to do.And walked up to Mum's side of the bed. I placed the folded up paper on her pillow. I quickly ran up to my bedroom and fell asleep.

Chapter 7

I woke up to Mum. She had quietly awoken me from my peaceful slumber. “We got your letter,” Mum informed me. Her voice sounded calm and understanding, she was quiet and comforting. “And Cody is two years older than you.”
“You're…” I paused for a second. “Three years younger than Dad,” I reasoned.
“Yes, but age gaps are not okay for children,” Mum explained.
“I'm still going to date him!” I exclaimed. Anger flaring in my eyes. They were just trying to get in the way of love.
“Okay,” Mum accepted. She seemed to back down… quicker than normal.

After another few months I started to realize that dating Cody was not a good idea. He knew I had a blurred line between reality and imagination. He used that to take advantage of me. I wondered if it was sexual abuse to forcefully kiss someone repeatedly. Well, it was still wrong. So, as a salty way of breaking up with him, I blocked him and didn't tell him why.

I still hadn't told my parents about the terrible behavior I had received from him. That changes though, a few months over a year.

I walked out to Mum and Dad during the night. They were watching a serial killer show on TV.
“I want to talk to Amy,” I demanded.
“You can't, we don't have her number,” Dad reasoned.
“B- but I want to talk to her!” I exclaimed.
“Even if we had her number sweetie, it would be inappropriate to message her at this time of night,” Dad had reasoned with me. He always spoke calmly. He always kept his emotions under control. Where I couldn't, I had no control over my emotions. Why can't I just control my emotions!? I thought furiously. I knew I needed to talk to Amy, my therapist, about the abuse I had received.

We went back and forth until…
“You can have hugs instead,” Mum suggested.
“Okay…” I agreed, reluctantly. I didn't want hugs. I needed to talk about the horrible abuse I had received only a year ago.

I face-planted on the bed in Mum and Dad's room. “Do you want to tell me what's wrong?” Mum proposed.
“No,” I said uncertainly.

A few minutes passed. “I will tell you what happened,” I had changed my mind. That happened a lot. I often worried if that was annoying. I was nervous about telling my parents about Cody… the way he treated Me.
“Okay,” Mum said, sitting down. “What happened?”

I told them about what had happened. They were fuming. “He is no longer allowed in this house,” Anger edged Dad's voice. He was so understanding. I liked that about him.
“Yeah, I've been having nightmares over it,” I said sadly. My brows were furrowed like they usually were when I was worried, thinking, confused, angry, studying someone or sad.

The end

© Amelia Newberry