In the dimly lit backroom of the Devil's Den, a dive bar on the outskirts of Hell, the Hell Girls were gearing up for their latest mission. Eyesha, the hyperactive redhead, was bouncing off the walls, fueled by a potent cocktail of pizza, cheap booze, and psychedelic mushrooms. Killsha, the stoic blonde, was methodically loading her hand cannon, her half-shaved, half-Mohawked head bobbing to the heavy metal blasting from the jukebox.

Hellsha, the bubbly blood-drinker, was practicing her best seductive smile, while Millie, the hardened chain-smoker, took a long swig of whiskey and cracked her knuckles. Their outfits were a chaotic blend of demon chic and punk rock - ripped fishnets, leather corsets, and combat boots. Each sported an Ankh tattoo on her shoulder, a choker necklace, and a strategically placed X of duct tape covering their nipples.

Their mission? To infiltrate an old abandoned mansion in Transylvania, rumored to be the site of a powerful demonic ritual. Their only clue? A cryptic riddle left behind by a deceased occultist: "Never Eat Soggy Waffles."

"What the hell does that mean?" Eyesha shrieked, her pigtails bouncing with every word.

"It's a compass direction," Killsha explained, her voice calm and steady. "North, East, South, West."

With a newfound sense of purpose, the Hell Girls piled into their souped-up hearse and sped off into the night, leaving a trail of exhaust fumes and empty pizza boxes in their wake.

As they approached the mansion, a sense of foreboding washed over them. The ancient stone walls seemed to ooze with malevolent energy, and the gnarled trees surrounding the property reached out like skeletal claws.

"Well, this is creepy," Millie muttered, lighting another cigarette.

Inside the mansion, the Hell Girls navigated a maze of dusty corridors and cobweb-laden rooms. Following the riddle's directions, they found themselves in a hidden chamber, illuminated by flickering candlelight.

In the center of the room stood a stone altar, adorned with strange symbols and runes. A book of dark rituals lay open, its pages filled with cryptic incantations and gruesome illustrations.

"Bingo," Hellsha whispered, her eyes wide with excitement.

As they approached the altar, the room began to shake, and the candles were extinguished, plunging the chamber into darkness. A guttural growl echoed through the room, followed by a deafening screech.

A monstrous figure emerged from the shadows, its eyes glowing with demonic fury. The Hell Girls drew their weapons, ready to fight for their lives and their love for Jesus.

With a battle cry, Eyesha leaped forward, her chainsaw buzzing with righteous fury. Killsha unleashed a barrage of bullets from her hand cannon, each shot echoing like a thunderclap. Hellsha summoned a swarm of bats to disorient the beast, while Millie lunged at it with a rusty pipe, her swings powered by whiskey and rage.

The battle was fierce and bloody, but the Hell Girls fought with the tenacity of demons and the heart of angels. In the end, they emerged victorious, the monstrous figure banished back to the depths of hell.

As dawn broke over the Transylvanian landscape, the Hell Girls emerged from the mansion, battered but unbowed. They piled back into their hearse, leaving the haunted house behind them.

"What a night," Eyesha exclaimed, popping another psychedelic mushroom into her mouth.

"Never Eat Soggy Waffles," Killsha added, a smirk playing on her lips.

And with that, they drove off into the sunrise, ready for their next adventure, their love for Jesus burning bright in their demon hearts.
© GreenShamanCowboy