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Almost
"You did say you want to meet him, right?"
"Is this..." she widens her eyes. "Are you—"
"When I read your message, I thought to myself that this is the least that I could do for you both. You wanted to let go, and I think it's only right that you end this chapter in your life, by meeting him for the first time."
She runs to him and gives him a hug. "Thank you so much."
"I didn't regret what I said to you though, if someone asks me who's my daughter-in-law, I'd still say your name." That causes for her to giggle. "Now, go on and take your time while I make breakfast for everyone. Feel free to take anything you like, you deserve one of those."
He gives her a quick kiss in the forehead before leaving her on her own in that place. Violet looks at the door who was already slightly open, before she sighs out to no one and enters the room.
The inside was already a masterpiece. There were all kinds of cactus and plants surrounding the area, and among those botanical things, were things that Flynn so hold dearly because she knew every single thing about them and the story that they hold.
This was his very first camera held and from then on it striked upon her that he would be the best photographer in the whole world. His favorite pink beanie that he would always wear whenever they're talking and even his favorite toy which belonged to his cats.
Now she understood what Mr. Miller talking about and she felt happy knowing that Flynn's parents were kind enough to let her leave the place with a piece of Flynn with her.
After admiring the mini-meseum of the blonde, she turns her head to the side and finally sees the container. It made her heart thump fast, made her swallow the invisible lump on her throat and made her weak in the knees.
It was a strungle to walk towards the thing but somehow after a few mental encouragements she managed to do so and now, after being away from the love of her life she was finally here. She had finally accomplished what she had been longing for all this time.
To erase the 6,264 kilometers of distance between them and to meet each other in person.
It wasn't like she had in mind though. In her mind she and Flynn would be busy texting one another about where Flynn would wait for her and other general instructions she would need to follow once she had arrive in the airport.
She would go out, see Flynn who will probably have this cute yet artsy welcome sign and she would ditch whatever luggage she was holding and jump in his arms and hug him tight. She would finally see him, smell him and most importantly—she would touch her.
But you don't get what you always want in life.
She stands in front of the porcelain figure sighing out loud to no one. "We finally meet." She says. "And for staters, this isn't what I had in mind but then I'm sure that this wasn't in yours either, so I guess we never got what we wanted."
"Your mom's a darling as expected and your dad... is really something else. I also met your friends, Lily and Charity. I know they were the causes of our fights sometimes and you told me not to disregard whatever feeling I had because they could never be me but during the ceremony, I saw them and it dawned to me that they both probably had more time spend with you, and it angered me."
"It angered me because I knew deep down, they were the previledged ones who were able to see you personally, they were there to support you, to hold your hand, to tell you that everything's fine and those things were the things I wasn't able to do, because you kept your condition a secret."
"Your mom told me that you did that because you were scared of losing me but then I thought did you never feel my fear of losing you? Was there something lacking in my ability to show you, my love, that you could trust me? There were a lot of questions that were swarming into my mind when I found out and I know you told me that we shouldn't let fear decide for us but looking back—I wished I did."
"Maybe then I would've booked the next flight to Sydney just to see you or book you to come and see me. I would've convinced my family harder that what we have isn't something temporary and millenial, but what we have was raw, pure, innocent and authentic. I would've told them that what we felt for one another could never be expressed in words, and I would've told them that you're my sunshine—the one who brings brightness in my dimmed life."
"Maybe they would've allowed me to come or maybe I would just not tell them and risk it everything just to see you. If I did those things, I would've kissed your lips and made a conclusion in my guess on a scale of one to ten how kissable your lips are." She looks down, playing with her painted fingers. "But how am I going to do that now?"
"Your dad told in his speech that you never would've wanted to see us be sad and depressed because you were gone so he told us to cry, laugh, talk and dance the pain away. I've done almost of those things, except one thing." She says as she looks at the porcelain with ashes in it. "I still haven't cried."
"I..." She breathes, trying her best not to let tears fall. "I'm trying so hard not to cry but all the what if's, all the future I planned for us—it all came crushing down right in front of me... I will never be able to spend at least a holiday vacation with you, I will never be out with you on a date and I will never get to hold your hand or see you, and that makes it so painful to me."
All the walls that Violet had been building up this entire day has finally crumbled down. The need of showing that she was strong, the desire to show everyone that she was handling her boyfriend's sudden death well and that she accepts it, the urge to look at every bit of his lover's home town and not crave for his existence right there.
She kneels down, hands on both her lap as she continues to sob her heart out. Violet remembers the first time she cried this hard and it was when she lost her favorite fish in the world. It was kind of similar with her situation now but Flynn was not just a fish in the sea—Flynn was the only fish for her.
"All of them tell me that I should just meet you finally so I could put an end into your chapter in my life and looking at you right now makes it so hard for me to let go. I know if you hear me you're going to think that I'm a plain stupid because I refuse to let go of loving a man who no longer exist."
"But that's the thing Flynn, I believe that even if you're no longer here—I could still feel you. I could feel you wherever I go, like you're always with me. Even if I'm standing here, talking to your remains, I believe you're here somewhere listening and probably crying to everything I was saying because we both know you're the crybaby between us."
"But even if you're gone and our time being together was cut short, I do think I have learned so much from loving you and me feeling love. You taught me how to be brave and just take the risks, to go for something that scares you because not everything that scares you destroys you, but you can see an opportunity to grow as a person. Moreover, a chance to give happiness to yourself."
"So thank you for those things. Thank you for making me happy, thank you for loving me and for allowing me to be your last love. You may not be my last but I hope you know the fact that you, Flynn Miller, will be the greatest love of my life. The kind of love that whenever I am reminded of us and our relationship, nothing will come out from my lips except good memories and smiles." She looks up and finally gives out a smile. "I love you so much... I hope you know that."
Suddenly there was a bried breeze that passed by that it surprised her. She looked around to see if there were any chance that a breeze as comfortable as that could pass but but she saw nothing. It was a glass house and it was totally impossible to feel that kind of breeze in that area.
She turns back to the last memories of Flynn's ashes inside the jar and smiles. Somehow, she understand what the breeze meant and though it was too crazy to think that it was logical and acceptable, Violet knew it was the blonde's fault and that brought a relief in her. Because she will leave that place knowing that Flynn knows how much she love him.
Violet walks toward the creamated body and sofly place the sunflower underneath it. She leans in and gives the jar a long kiss before turning around with a content smile and a weight lifted off og her shoukders. She stops mid-way and sees a camera dangling. Following Flynn's dad offer, she grabs the camera before leaving the place and runs back to the veranda where she saw the perfect view of the sunrise.
She left Sydney leaving a piece of her there and with the realization that she could never end Flynn's chapter in her life right there. Because he was never just a chapter in her life.
He was an entire book, the one that she would never get tired of reading, over and over again.
"Is this..." she widens her eyes. "Are you—"
"When I read your message, I thought to myself that this is the least that I could do for you both. You wanted to let go, and I think it's only right that you end this chapter in your life, by meeting him for the first time."
She runs to him and gives him a hug. "Thank you so much."
"I didn't regret what I said to you though, if someone asks me who's my daughter-in-law, I'd still say your name." That causes for her to giggle. "Now, go on and take your time while I make breakfast for everyone. Feel free to take anything you like, you deserve one of those."
He gives her a quick kiss in the forehead before leaving her on her own in that place. Violet looks at the door who was already slightly open, before she sighs out to no one and enters the room.
The inside was already a masterpiece. There were all kinds of cactus and plants surrounding the area, and among those botanical things, were things that Flynn so hold dearly because she knew every single thing about them and the story that they hold.
This was his very first camera held and from then on it striked upon her that he would be the best photographer in the whole world. His favorite pink beanie that he would always wear whenever they're talking and even his favorite toy which belonged to his cats.
Now she understood what Mr. Miller talking about and she felt happy knowing that Flynn's parents were kind enough to let her leave the place with a piece of Flynn with her.
After admiring the mini-meseum of the blonde, she turns her head to the side and finally sees the container. It made her heart thump fast, made her swallow the invisible lump on her throat and made her weak in the knees.
It was a strungle to walk towards the thing but somehow after a few mental encouragements she managed to do so and now, after being away from the love of her life she was finally here. She had finally accomplished what she had been longing for all this time.
To erase the 6,264 kilometers of distance between them and to meet each other in person.
It wasn't like she had in mind though. In her mind she and Flynn would be busy texting one another about where Flynn would wait for her and other general instructions she would need to follow once she had arrive in the airport.
She would go out, see Flynn who will probably have this cute yet artsy welcome sign and she would ditch whatever luggage she was holding and jump in his arms and hug him tight. She would finally see him, smell him and most importantly—she would touch her.
But you don't get what you always want in life.
She stands in front of the porcelain figure sighing out loud to no one. "We finally meet." She says. "And for staters, this isn't what I had in mind but then I'm sure that this wasn't in yours either, so I guess we never got what we wanted."
"Your mom's a darling as expected and your dad... is really something else. I also met your friends, Lily and Charity. I know they were the causes of our fights sometimes and you told me not to disregard whatever feeling I had because they could never be me but during the ceremony, I saw them and it dawned to me that they both probably had more time spend with you, and it angered me."
"It angered me because I knew deep down, they were the previledged ones who were able to see you personally, they were there to support you, to hold your hand, to tell you that everything's fine and those things were the things I wasn't able to do, because you kept your condition a secret."
"Your mom told me that you did that because you were scared of losing me but then I thought did you never feel my fear of losing you? Was there something lacking in my ability to show you, my love, that you could trust me? There were a lot of questions that were swarming into my mind when I found out and I know you told me that we shouldn't let fear decide for us but looking back—I wished I did."
"Maybe then I would've booked the next flight to Sydney just to see you or book you to come and see me. I would've convinced my family harder that what we have isn't something temporary and millenial, but what we have was raw, pure, innocent and authentic. I would've told them that what we felt for one another could never be expressed in words, and I would've told them that you're my sunshine—the one who brings brightness in my dimmed life."
"Maybe they would've allowed me to come or maybe I would just not tell them and risk it everything just to see you. If I did those things, I would've kissed your lips and made a conclusion in my guess on a scale of one to ten how kissable your lips are." She looks down, playing with her painted fingers. "But how am I going to do that now?"
"Your dad told in his speech that you never would've wanted to see us be sad and depressed because you were gone so he told us to cry, laugh, talk and dance the pain away. I've done almost of those things, except one thing." She says as she looks at the porcelain with ashes in it. "I still haven't cried."
"I..." She breathes, trying her best not to let tears fall. "I'm trying so hard not to cry but all the what if's, all the future I planned for us—it all came crushing down right in front of me... I will never be able to spend at least a holiday vacation with you, I will never be out with you on a date and I will never get to hold your hand or see you, and that makes it so painful to me."
All the walls that Violet had been building up this entire day has finally crumbled down. The need of showing that she was strong, the desire to show everyone that she was handling her boyfriend's sudden death well and that she accepts it, the urge to look at every bit of his lover's home town and not crave for his existence right there.
She kneels down, hands on both her lap as she continues to sob her heart out. Violet remembers the first time she cried this hard and it was when she lost her favorite fish in the world. It was kind of similar with her situation now but Flynn was not just a fish in the sea—Flynn was the only fish for her.
"All of them tell me that I should just meet you finally so I could put an end into your chapter in my life and looking at you right now makes it so hard for me to let go. I know if you hear me you're going to think that I'm a plain stupid because I refuse to let go of loving a man who no longer exist."
"But that's the thing Flynn, I believe that even if you're no longer here—I could still feel you. I could feel you wherever I go, like you're always with me. Even if I'm standing here, talking to your remains, I believe you're here somewhere listening and probably crying to everything I was saying because we both know you're the crybaby between us."
"But even if you're gone and our time being together was cut short, I do think I have learned so much from loving you and me feeling love. You taught me how to be brave and just take the risks, to go for something that scares you because not everything that scares you destroys you, but you can see an opportunity to grow as a person. Moreover, a chance to give happiness to yourself."
"So thank you for those things. Thank you for making me happy, thank you for loving me and for allowing me to be your last love. You may not be my last but I hope you know the fact that you, Flynn Miller, will be the greatest love of my life. The kind of love that whenever I am reminded of us and our relationship, nothing will come out from my lips except good memories and smiles." She looks up and finally gives out a smile. "I love you so much... I hope you know that."
Suddenly there was a bried breeze that passed by that it surprised her. She looked around to see if there were any chance that a breeze as comfortable as that could pass but but she saw nothing. It was a glass house and it was totally impossible to feel that kind of breeze in that area.
She turns back to the last memories of Flynn's ashes inside the jar and smiles. Somehow, she understand what the breeze meant and though it was too crazy to think that it was logical and acceptable, Violet knew it was the blonde's fault and that brought a relief in her. Because she will leave that place knowing that Flynn knows how much she love him.
Violet walks toward the creamated body and sofly place the sunflower underneath it. She leans in and gives the jar a long kiss before turning around with a content smile and a weight lifted off og her shoukders. She stops mid-way and sees a camera dangling. Following Flynn's dad offer, she grabs the camera before leaving the place and runs back to the veranda where she saw the perfect view of the sunrise.
She left Sydney leaving a piece of her there and with the realization that she could never end Flynn's chapter in her life right there. Because he was never just a chapter in her life.
He was an entire book, the one that she would never get tired of reading, over and over again.
