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More than a Story.

I read from the gram, a text that explains that it is most disturbing that the purest form of affection is limited by the tenacious loss of the significant other in a bond between beings. It's disheartening that death between couples is simultaneous and have no grounds to debate it with God.
We, all have never been here, on earth, before. Perhaps there would be experienced humans to tell the story how it looked like before. How to jave things work out so that we can cope up with life. Maybe we wouldn't make mistakes in relationships and in life.
We may have never been here before but there is a difference between the time we have experienced steps in life. Some people get their girl friends at 16, others 19. Some get their first kiss at 25. I would like to share something disturbing I have gone through that taught me how I handle my relationships.

When I fell in love at first, I was so uncertain, young, 17, demanding and fantasia with the idea of love, my whole behaviour and action-to focused on learning from Her than offering how I felt things would work.
It is well a common trait among first loves especially if the other person has been here before. Well I can not say its indecent to do.

I am coming to a realization right now, I would do better back then only if I spoke out my perspective. Action learning was less of what I had in me. I would listen to her, scared of losing her, "which is so right" but I let her mistakes in decision making define the person I was becoming in the relationship. I remember one day from school, she introduced me to her friend (male) as a friend of her big brother.
It is true, I am Friends and I couldn't say she is wrong but in the context of the enviroment. It was so invalid, i was stuck between deciding whether she didnt like me or i was she liked me but it wasnt working out very well due to my uninfomedness. Unfortunately I have learnt answers to this after five years. Its a mistake I wouldn't encourage you to make. When you let disrespect slide, you discredit yourself in the eyes of those initiating it. It is like lowering defenses.

How you react to disrespect will define the equilibrium of the relationship and where it is driving. Remember that if they don't like you, suppressing your feelings won't make them stay or change. Honestly, I don't think we can love from reading books and trust me. I have read some pages but i dont want to let my girlfriend's form of affection to be defined by poetry written by someone who has blood, someone who has an editor. Well people have this manipulative trick where they speak the problem before and then design it to look like an advantage for the other person in the long run.
This comes with words like "come on, you try to be understanding". Yes i am am trying but at the extent of my mental health. I am not trying to offend those who use this, no, i think we need to know better. Trying to keep things in check is not a red flag is I would put it to the understanding. And Yes, I am not the person, i deserve love and i can not fake understanding when the relationship is losing the wheel and path. I learnt at a time I thought of understanding the situation that trying to be someone you are not only highlights the parts of you you are trying to hide and I let this set me free.

© Kaiso Isaac