Hello, my dear readers. I'm not used to being exposed to such a large audience and thus I'm somewhat nervous because of my normally dirty external appearance. My owner happens to be somewhat lazy when dealing with her bedroom and wardrobe glamorizating tasks.

I am only very well acquainted with my teenage owner's - sometimes very smelly and somewhat stinky - feet. But I'm always comforted by telling myself that they don't smell bad; they're just malodorous.

Wait, enough about me for now! Let me first introduce you to my glorious and impeccably flawless owner - sorry, I don't quite understand that "human grammar" thing very well!!

To begin with, she's 15, her name is Tartia (pronounced: TAR-Teeah) and her surname is Von Trapp...and yes...I know the connection to the Sound of Mysic family's surname! She has brownish silver blonde hair cut off at the armpits and largestshiny hazel brown eyes.

She is tanned and toned and very slender...a little TOO slim to my liking. I'm always telling her to eat more Rice Crispies for breakfast since her feet are getting too narrow for me, but she just gets irritated and slaps my comment away.

I must mention that my untidy owner is rather into make up, painting art, and tennis...I first realized this when she used a green, fresh-smelling liquid and a large, absorbant thing with holes in it to scrub my face off.

And when Tartia decides to cheat on her latest Geography pop quiz or her freshest Analytic geometry exam, she makeups me with all colours of the rainbow. She says something about "memory" and "different colours."

As for tennis, she once threw a chocolate mud cake over our next door neighbours' fence...and Amalia crouched down and held up a net in front of her face...I think to catch it with. Don't know why she had to cover her face to do that, upon second thought. And alhough that ball was rather large; I suppose Tartia figured Amalia could caught it.

Wasn't a very good throw...it hit Amelia's face instead of her hands and I suppose that's why Tartia had to smash my face against the fence and shout things...she was probably concerned for her friend.

After all, they say a tennis ball is a round thing thrown over a net...if that doesn't classify a chocolate my cake as a tennis ball, then what does??

Tartia is also really into mathematical figures. She wears off shoulder dresses around her figure with captions like Math; Why Don't you Grow up and Solve your Own Damn Problems?

On top of all this, Tartia is rather an adventurous girl, also. Once Tartia rode a large mare which bolted and threw her off, causing my softish face to be nearly smashes and even my buttocks to be awarded a graceful spank...or three.

Sometimes Tartia goes on a run with Amalia and Genevere - or, to be honest, she tries to, anyway. I don't know if you can call pushing some one else and his mate - me and my fellow Tennis Sneaker - in front of each other, while standing on them, running...

But, oh well, saints and angels like me and my fellow Tennis Sneaker have to suffer in silence for the greater good...though we can't stand up "for" what is right...

We leave it to Tartia to stand up "on" what is right....though. I suppose that's similar...since I've never been an expert on what they call "human prepositions," or something like that.

So, dear audience, that sums up the life of a lazy teenage girl owned tennis sneaker...and his or her fellow Tennis Sneaker!

© @elsastrauss7