I believe healing is messy, we heal everyday, healing just doesn't end at our last therapy session. It's takes more than just going for therapy. At times we feel so energetic, we hardly remember why we are going to a therapist in the first place! And at times, it feels like, therapy is just not helping at all. You see, it depends on how willing we are to heal from the shit caused by others. I know, it's not fair, it's pathetic, it's terrible, it's just not right, but then reality kicks in and slaps hard, that's when we understand, how much we want to heal so that we don't bleed on our loved ones, healing is a life time process, it's crying in the night while holding your breath as to not make any noise, it's suffocating, it hurts and it keeps hurting but we can't do anything!

It's sleepless nights (sometimes). It's feeling tired and sleepy (somedays). It's not wanting to get out of the bed, it's a constant battle with oneself. For healing from a trauma, a person has to literally break the pattern of being someone who they never were.. it's like renovation, you know ? How we renovate our houses or offices or whatsoever, it's just like that, it takes too much efforts, doesn't it ? Healing is same ! We have to make an effort to be someone completely different then we used to be.

It sucks but it's worth it.. I guess?
© afrais_me