What the hell is wrong with me, he loves me i mean really loves me but i cant accept that. Somewhere in my fucked up head i beleive thst im unloveable like i dont deserve love. Im going to push him right out the fucking door.
So i turn to the heavns and ask the same thing but theres no response atleast not one that i can here. I feel like hes gonna call me home soon if i dont change but how . How do i reprogram myself to believe that im worth more thsn what someone tells me im worth. So i cry because i dont wanna die but i dont know how to change where do i start.
Where is my guardian angel isnt he supposed to guide me . lord im sorry im sorry that my mother and brothers used me as there fuck toy. Cause by the time i realized it was to late the damage was done. Self esteem -what self esteem-self love-thats the shit i saw in movies. Hrre i am in my late 30 and i dont know what love is cause everybody that said it to me wanted to screw me.
So now i ask for mrrcy lord ive got so much i wanna do if u can just stop the nightmares and cold swets please dont ket me wake up screaming. But above all lord ive been faithful ive been true. Yes i use drugs but they keep the monsters away.
give me another chance a fresh start where i dont feel guilty for other ppls missdeeds.
i was born innocent and taught sin how can u fsult me for the only way i know how to llive