I know my love was always one sided.
cause you were always in love with her.
the girl who never really treasured you,
the girl who played with you like a toy,
the girl who thought of you as a thrown thing that she can take and throw at any time she wants and you always continued to be her puppet her toy.
do you even know how much it hurted me to see you hurt? to see you cry? to see you sad?
no you don't cause you never actually able to knew what does it actually mean to be in love.

you never even knew what it actually mean to be in friendship.
you knew nothing.
yes, you were my really closet friend.
but you never actually cared about me the way you showed you did.
you only said that i was a light to brighten up your world,
i was the gem hardest to find in this world.
but guess what you did?
you've actually throw out your gem without even thinking twice.
you've never even said sorry.

just once, just once, even for once if you would have said sorry i would've forgiven you, but you never did.
cause your Ego was always more important than me.
but that wasn't future I've desired for.
I've thought you will always be with me.
I've thought that you would be mine.

even though you said you're in love with me. not once, not twice but thrice.

You also get back together with that girl after telling me you're in love with me the first time.
i know I've rejected you, but I've never said i don't want you. i just don't wanted a temporary relationship with you. i wanted pure love and commitment which you were never ready to do.
i thought it was all fun and you're just teasing me but deep down how much happy i was after hearing those words from you. i couldn't sleep for the whole night, i was shivering to reply you.
but i knew you can't be serious and i had the fear that if she will come back you will get back together with her and will leave me alone to cry.
but guess what? my fear was right, you actually did what i thought you will. maybe I've predicted this before because i knew you more than anyone. i didn't regret my decision of not accepting you that time. but it tear me apart into pieces when you told me you and her are actually together again.

The second time you've said you love me, i actually wanted to believe you. but the thought of first time haunted me and suddenly it occured to me that you're lying again. you can't be in love with me. but you said you are and i made you a better man. but what you did again? you get back together with her.


to be continued...
© Soul🥀