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Love! Peace & smiles.
~I remember, I still remember
The love I felt. That first look. That which made me crazy. That I never understood. It wasn't romantic, it wasn't hormonal. It was very pure. Back then we were kids. Real innocent. All I ever wanted was him to be my friend. I wanted him to smile every now and then.
He was not just any guy. He was special. No, no super powers, I think so his postive aura attracted me. He was calm, serene, Looking at him was like gaining immense peace.
I had to be his friend, I was really working hard making universe to bring me close to him. I really did take efforts 2 months were left. The pre-finals were about to begin, so they were granted study time. All I was left was 2 weeks before holidays.
I took my slam book and made sure every girl senior I was friend with from his class filled my slam. Everybody did now that his cousin sister was left, the one who was difficult to approach. But eventually one day after school ended I approached her and said , "Please fill my slam, make sure your brother fills it too". And I ran off to my bus in a hurry. I was breathless. I was freaking out. Did I just do that? Is it real? Oh God. Oh Dear God. Will it be okay!
And now I was in my waiting period. 24 hours Ahh! Gruesome ever 24 hours I had to spend. I couldn't sleep that night. I constantly kept praying. Please make it easier. Let he fill my slam, Let he know I exist. Let he smile at me. Let he consider me. That was First time ever I had an uneasy night.
The next morning, I was afraid. But I gathered courage and asked her, "Did you fill my book? She said, "Yes I did". And did you tell your brother?
To this she said, sorry couldn't find time and returned my book and asked me, to give him.
(Babeeeeee why would ask me, he is your brother it's easier for you not me, not my brother, I don't want either)
Ahhhhh, with a teenagers broken heart, a broken dream to confront her crush I returned home exhausted and sad.
I said forget it, It is too difficult to approach him. It really feels disastrous when the only thing you ever wanted, is right in front of you and yet it slips away.
It was last week before their vacation, that weekend was also supposedly their farewell. We were out on the ground making arrangements for their farewell party, dance, skit, speech. I happily got engaged in the function.
But then I saw him, I smiled.
Him still having no absolute idea of who I am.
I said to myself that's okay, I am happy I will watch him quietly from afar, when suddenly reality hit me.
"Yes, you can watch him now, he is right in front of you, but when he leaves tomorrow and he will be gone? You can't even watch him from farthest. He will be long gone"
This realisation hit me so hard. I left everything, everything and ran to get my book, I followed him I saw him entering prayer room. Luckily he was alone. And I called him, "Seiddddd! Here! Take this, I asked your sister to give this to you. Its my slam, make sure you fill it okay, I'll collect tomorrow. Byeee! "
I never said him hi, I never greeted him. I acted as if I know him and he knows me. I spoke to him so casual as if he was my friend. My heart was racing so fast, I was afraid what if he comes and asks me who am I? What if he never fills and makes an excuse. I was literally worried. I couldn't focus on anything. Surprisingly by the end of school that day, he approached me and said, "Here, I filled it already! and he smiled. He smiled at me, looking into my eyes, noticing me. I took it, said thankyou. Just so that I don't make it obvious that I like him, I just went my way.
He really filled my slam, I had his email, I had his phone number, I knew his birthdate, I know his likes. Oh! I felt as if I know him well. I purchased my slam so I could get him to fill, once it was done I made sure to treasure it well.
The day came, I bid my seniors farewell, and this time I could even bid him bye.
Months passed, we all were done with our final exams, it was summer vacation. You see I never did contact him, I was afraid to disturb him as it was his final year. So I just let time flow. It was peaceful.
It was then in July 2009 when the results were out and he ranked, yes in his final year. I am very proud of him. I am.
Well there was this congratulatory ceremony for the students who ended in first three ranks. He came to my class. I saw him, he was happy, he greeted my teacher, had small talk and he was leaving. My eyes followed him, I was happy, I was smiling too. As he was about to get out, he stopped and looked back at me and he smiled too.
Yes,
It was July 2009 and this time he knew me, my name, my face and he smiled back at me again.
#4 The final piece.
© min-min
The love I felt. That first look. That which made me crazy. That I never understood. It wasn't romantic, it wasn't hormonal. It was very pure. Back then we were kids. Real innocent. All I ever wanted was him to be my friend. I wanted him to smile every now and then.
He was not just any guy. He was special. No, no super powers, I think so his postive aura attracted me. He was calm, serene, Looking at him was like gaining immense peace.
I had to be his friend, I was really working hard making universe to bring me close to him. I really did take efforts 2 months were left. The pre-finals were about to begin, so they were granted study time. All I was left was 2 weeks before holidays.
I took my slam book and made sure every girl senior I was friend with from his class filled my slam. Everybody did now that his cousin sister was left, the one who was difficult to approach. But eventually one day after school ended I approached her and said , "Please fill my slam, make sure your brother fills it too". And I ran off to my bus in a hurry. I was breathless. I was freaking out. Did I just do that? Is it real? Oh God. Oh Dear God. Will it be okay!
And now I was in my waiting period. 24 hours Ahh! Gruesome ever 24 hours I had to spend. I couldn't sleep that night. I constantly kept praying. Please make it easier. Let he fill my slam, Let he know I exist. Let he smile at me. Let he consider me. That was First time ever I had an uneasy night.
The next morning, I was afraid. But I gathered courage and asked her, "Did you fill my book? She said, "Yes I did". And did you tell your brother?
To this she said, sorry couldn't find time and returned my book and asked me, to give him.
(Babeeeeee why would ask me, he is your brother it's easier for you not me, not my brother, I don't want either)
Ahhhhh, with a teenagers broken heart, a broken dream to confront her crush I returned home exhausted and sad.
I said forget it, It is too difficult to approach him. It really feels disastrous when the only thing you ever wanted, is right in front of you and yet it slips away.
It was last week before their vacation, that weekend was also supposedly their farewell. We were out on the ground making arrangements for their farewell party, dance, skit, speech. I happily got engaged in the function.
But then I saw him, I smiled.
Him still having no absolute idea of who I am.
I said to myself that's okay, I am happy I will watch him quietly from afar, when suddenly reality hit me.
"Yes, you can watch him now, he is right in front of you, but when he leaves tomorrow and he will be gone? You can't even watch him from farthest. He will be long gone"
This realisation hit me so hard. I left everything, everything and ran to get my book, I followed him I saw him entering prayer room. Luckily he was alone. And I called him, "Seiddddd! Here! Take this, I asked your sister to give this to you. Its my slam, make sure you fill it okay, I'll collect tomorrow. Byeee! "
I never said him hi, I never greeted him. I acted as if I know him and he knows me. I spoke to him so casual as if he was my friend. My heart was racing so fast, I was afraid what if he comes and asks me who am I? What if he never fills and makes an excuse. I was literally worried. I couldn't focus on anything. Surprisingly by the end of school that day, he approached me and said, "Here, I filled it already! and he smiled. He smiled at me, looking into my eyes, noticing me. I took it, said thankyou. Just so that I don't make it obvious that I like him, I just went my way.
He really filled my slam, I had his email, I had his phone number, I knew his birthdate, I know his likes. Oh! I felt as if I know him well. I purchased my slam so I could get him to fill, once it was done I made sure to treasure it well.
The day came, I bid my seniors farewell, and this time I could even bid him bye.
Months passed, we all were done with our final exams, it was summer vacation. You see I never did contact him, I was afraid to disturb him as it was his final year. So I just let time flow. It was peaceful.
It was then in July 2009 when the results were out and he ranked, yes in his final year. I am very proud of him. I am.
Well there was this congratulatory ceremony for the students who ended in first three ranks. He came to my class. I saw him, he was happy, he greeted my teacher, had small talk and he was leaving. My eyes followed him, I was happy, I was smiling too. As he was about to get out, he stopped and looked back at me and he smiled too.
Yes,
It was July 2009 and this time he knew me, my name, my face and he smiled back at me again.
#4 The final piece.
© min-min
