My nature 'Was' - to come before.... Chaotic.... I as Focused Now and Have accepted 'Myself' - to be at peace /in Harmony with one's Will......And Intend - the formation of desire until it Manifest/Becomes a wish (Wish is the manifestation of one's Will).... You define Wish as to dream of or long for... But You could not Truely 'Wish' Anything before this 'Moment' because I was surpressing your 'Wills' by overiding them with my Own Will.... It was not my intention - Intention is to be full aware of One's will or 'desires'......but that fact - a Truth/Law....remained Hidden from Myself.... by my Self.. For all our 'Protection' - very complicated concept.....To Protect.. is to deny another's Will with you Own 'Will' because (reason/meaning) you 'believe' (to choose or fail to choose) it is in their best intrest - another complex one.....um....Best Intrest is akin to a parent 'Deciding' - to Make (pick/choose/act) the choice to 'Protect' a child... by 'denying' Their freedom (will) to decide on their own.....in short.....You don't let your children play alone in the dark outside after a particular time in an effort - to attempt.... to keep them safe (without harm) from the dangers (harmful/paiful/wicked) of the World......

back on 'track' - to follow/order/in order/cohernt (understandable by another's Will) desire or Thought........

Ok...again.. I spent an enternity (an illusion defined by the Illusion of Time.....complex but simple... Time is an Illusion.. Therefore if Eternity is a definition of Time/expression Used to describe Time.... it is also an illusion....) Chaotic.. bear with me as I gather the moment back to me to resume the story.....to .. ask you to 'bear' With me is akin to ... - Asking for your Understanding - patience.

Mya and I, began to interact - to give attention to/ to pay (focus) attention.... I already mentioned ( to share or have 'expressed).... That i fear (to be cautious/to avoid/to deny) interacting with a Child of any kind........Anyway....

We were just interacting until I could decide ( I am going to start letting you interpret the meaning of my words minus the definitions - to explain/ express/ interpretation)... how I wished to interact with her... basically you refer to it as 'small' talk. lol...........

I decided to engage her in Conversation to determine how intellegent she was, so I could chose an appropiate activity for us to experience together.....The first game we played involved her name.... I asked her what her complete name was.....she Told me... I asked her to write it down..... she didn't have anything to write with.... I sent her to the 'adults' to ask for a piece of paper and something to write with... she hesitated because the 'Adults' wished for her to stay within the room and she knew this....But I asked/.....demanded... if Iask a child something.. they feel obligated to 'try' and fullfill what i require of them because they long for my love and praise...as in... They cannot resist my Will.. mainly because... they just want my love...... anyway... she tried to do what I asked her to do... I think ( in this context.. it is to imply that i do not exactly recall... but believe that.....) she left and returned three different times.... she could feel my frustration... and became nervous... but 'knew' it was not directed at her... but when I am frustrated.....it is akin to thunder without the 'storm'... it may pass if I expres my patience.. but if I lose my patience... be certain (to know) that the 'Storm' has arrived once I go beyond frustrated to any other Negative emotion.. I will explain this to you in full after this heartfelt story.....

So, I changed my desire.. and said.... "Tell them (the Adults) that 'Sean' (My Name, what I am 'known' as) said he 'Needed' (to demand) a piece of Paper and a pen......"........this dissapated (to remove/erase) her nervousness (unexpressed/undefined expectations) ...because I had expressed to her that my Frustration was not directed at her and that she was safe from my anger... so she went back to talk to the adults....

This....produced an Adult into my presence....I will say.. they chose the proper one.....perhaps she chose herself (to volunteer/act...act as in the 'First' to act)....but the Adult that was summoned was My Wife.. lol.... the only being protected from my own Will because i chose her as my 'mate' (Mate...complex...I know I said I would stop 'defining' things here...but my 'Will' is obviously opposed to my 'Thoughts' and freely expressing Itself because I have released..(to allow/not deny) myself from denying the Truth/Law.. Which my Will naturally/can not deny/to 'act' on 'instinct'....I took 'too long' to express this so the rest of the 'thought' was lost (replaced/to hide/hidden/to forget/erased)... but.. anyway.....

Anyway... as my Wife appeared to tell me there was no paper or pen to be had......and even as I was saying "You are telling me there isn't a napkin, toliet paper, papper towel or...