7 views
Right in the Face
Not long ago, I woke up by a thud at my front door. It must be my grumpy 'not so old' landlord, Jason.
I have never had a tiniest bit of liking for him. Was it his lose pantaloons ? Was it the rusty smell of his breath? Was it his bottle of Barcadi in his beasty hand? No ...No...No..
It were his pale green gazing eyes- Eyes which will suffocate you to death, which will slowly crush your heart n squeeze out every single drop of blood from it. I become numb, lifeless as a corpse with his one single look. Those eyes. Full of infinite darkness, unlimited torment and questionable intentions. Gathering up all my courage I got up from my bed and headed towards the gate. The more closer I went, the slower my pace got.
"What am I doing?" I questioned myself.
With an uncomfortable ease I laid my hand at the door knob and looked outside through the portal that connected me with the outside. This connection is the by far the most strongest thing I had ever done.
"Yes?" I questioned in a low murmur.
Silence prevailed.
I panicked !
Something's not right, but nothing is wrong. My breath became a rollercoaster of painful sighs 'one, two, three' I opened the lick and laid open my door. Closing my eyes I came outside and stood at the porch. It's been a while...actually quite a Long while .Today I actually came out of my little utopian two bedroom castle in which everything is perfect -people with good thoughts, better actions and best hearts. I didn't opened my eyes. They laid shut because I was too weak to actually face the world right at that moment. The warmth of sun felt amazing. I stood there as disciplined as a marine officer. Legs straight and glued; arms hanging without any bends and with me looking forward, right in the face.
the buzzing of bees on the grapevine of my porch made me giggle; the sweet smell of lavender on the right side and the minty and sour smell of lime tree on my left made me realise the truth which I should have known far earlier.
It wasn't my fault.
The image once again flashed as fast as the speed of light and in the fraction of seconds I relived my deepest fear- A young blissful girl of seventeen, returning home after a study night out at the local library who was caught by the devil's itself with the skin of humans, hands of beasts and eyes of terror. Their evil will scared that poor soul. She screamed, she revolted, she shouted, she begged, she cried, she prayed. But the demons in the tame humanly form did the sinister act of the crude darkness itself. A young girl of seventeen lost her virtue to the demons act to rage, suffering and pain. Left to die near the lake, the Gods gave her life once again. Hope of being normal ended when all the people started pointing out the scar on the moon itself. Society pointed fingers at the innocent, with the wild animals still roaming around-looking for another naive soul to possess. She lost her family l, her friends ,her everything. All that was left was she and the darkness.
"I am Not afraid Anymore" I shouted as I burst into Pacific of tears and landed on my knees right where I was standing, broken all over again by the darkness, yet another time.
I crawled. Yes !!! I didn't walk.
The pain was so deep that it had consumed every ounce of energy I had. All I knew was 'I have to go inside'. There I was after numerous futile attempts- at the door. What on heaven and earth I should do ?
The loneliness on the other side of the door called upon me- veiled as my saviour and a friend, it wanted me to surrender the world and claim my defeat on the war that was never mine.
I can't. I can't Keep Running no more !
All this time, wishing it would have never happened, had made me remorse my action and consider myself the reason behind what happened to me. But it wasn't my fault afterall !
I stood up ,wiped my salty tears and began to trod towards the footpath. I was angry- a blonde ball of fire with the power of a sun. I began walking along the lane wanting to consume any human form that came before my with my harsh words. This sudden anger took a deep fall when I realised I was me again. An angry Bird as I was before this incident, I was she again.
A moment of silence was necessary.
I thought and thought and thought .
I could niether control what had happened to me nor could change it. I accepted that what those people did to me was disturbingly wrong-as wrong as anything ever will be.
I accepted the society's indifference to me was unjust- just because I'm a girl who wears dresses, it doesn't means I'm wrong. I accepted that pain hosted on me by the parasite -it wanted me to taste the bitter essence of life- an unfortunate feat only a few experience.
Life choose me to be a messenger of power and self-worth. I'm me again. I faced my fears and looked it right in the face.
Not to mention,I would never forget that green eyes.
I guess you would know out 'why?'. A Victim always remembers the minute details.
I am an angel who faced the devils and fell down deep .I lost my wings but forgot I had claws to climb up.
Dear World, I'm Renesme and I'm back .
© Raymn
I have never had a tiniest bit of liking for him. Was it his lose pantaloons ? Was it the rusty smell of his breath? Was it his bottle of Barcadi in his beasty hand? No ...No...No..
It were his pale green gazing eyes- Eyes which will suffocate you to death, which will slowly crush your heart n squeeze out every single drop of blood from it. I become numb, lifeless as a corpse with his one single look. Those eyes. Full of infinite darkness, unlimited torment and questionable intentions. Gathering up all my courage I got up from my bed and headed towards the gate. The more closer I went, the slower my pace got.
"What am I doing?" I questioned myself.
With an uncomfortable ease I laid my hand at the door knob and looked outside through the portal that connected me with the outside. This connection is the by far the most strongest thing I had ever done.
"Yes?" I questioned in a low murmur.
Silence prevailed.
I panicked !
Something's not right, but nothing is wrong. My breath became a rollercoaster of painful sighs 'one, two, three' I opened the lick and laid open my door. Closing my eyes I came outside and stood at the porch. It's been a while...actually quite a Long while .Today I actually came out of my little utopian two bedroom castle in which everything is perfect -people with good thoughts, better actions and best hearts. I didn't opened my eyes. They laid shut because I was too weak to actually face the world right at that moment. The warmth of sun felt amazing. I stood there as disciplined as a marine officer. Legs straight and glued; arms hanging without any bends and with me looking forward, right in the face.
the buzzing of bees on the grapevine of my porch made me giggle; the sweet smell of lavender on the right side and the minty and sour smell of lime tree on my left made me realise the truth which I should have known far earlier.
It wasn't my fault.
The image once again flashed as fast as the speed of light and in the fraction of seconds I relived my deepest fear- A young blissful girl of seventeen, returning home after a study night out at the local library who was caught by the devil's itself with the skin of humans, hands of beasts and eyes of terror. Their evil will scared that poor soul. She screamed, she revolted, she shouted, she begged, she cried, she prayed. But the demons in the tame humanly form did the sinister act of the crude darkness itself. A young girl of seventeen lost her virtue to the demons act to rage, suffering and pain. Left to die near the lake, the Gods gave her life once again. Hope of being normal ended when all the people started pointing out the scar on the moon itself. Society pointed fingers at the innocent, with the wild animals still roaming around-looking for another naive soul to possess. She lost her family l, her friends ,her everything. All that was left was she and the darkness.
"I am Not afraid Anymore" I shouted as I burst into Pacific of tears and landed on my knees right where I was standing, broken all over again by the darkness, yet another time.
I crawled. Yes !!! I didn't walk.
The pain was so deep that it had consumed every ounce of energy I had. All I knew was 'I have to go inside'. There I was after numerous futile attempts- at the door. What on heaven and earth I should do ?
The loneliness on the other side of the door called upon me- veiled as my saviour and a friend, it wanted me to surrender the world and claim my defeat on the war that was never mine.
I can't. I can't Keep Running no more !
All this time, wishing it would have never happened, had made me remorse my action and consider myself the reason behind what happened to me. But it wasn't my fault afterall !
I stood up ,wiped my salty tears and began to trod towards the footpath. I was angry- a blonde ball of fire with the power of a sun. I began walking along the lane wanting to consume any human form that came before my with my harsh words. This sudden anger took a deep fall when I realised I was me again. An angry Bird as I was before this incident, I was she again.
A moment of silence was necessary.
I thought and thought and thought .
I could niether control what had happened to me nor could change it. I accepted that what those people did to me was disturbingly wrong-as wrong as anything ever will be.
I accepted the society's indifference to me was unjust- just because I'm a girl who wears dresses, it doesn't means I'm wrong. I accepted that pain hosted on me by the parasite -it wanted me to taste the bitter essence of life- an unfortunate feat only a few experience.
Life choose me to be a messenger of power and self-worth. I'm me again. I faced my fears and looked it right in the face.
Not to mention,I would never forget that green eyes.
I guess you would know out 'why?'. A Victim always remembers the minute details.
I am an angel who faced the devils and fell down deep .I lost my wings but forgot I had claws to climb up.
Dear World, I'm Renesme and I'm back .
© Raymn
