One day I spontaneously decide to go out.

I think, carefully on this day as I finally chose to go to the seaside where I can vent all my thoughts and ideas and it would be a really nice experience.

My oh my oh how I tried to escape reality of home and work so many times is sickening, my problems technically consume me all day, I wanted change, even if it was just in a days trip.

I don't get this type of outlet daily, cooped up inside or having to explain to my boyfriend why I must go out, he tells me to stay home.

I'm terrified of the choices I must make, like a little child, I make second guesses, and make a fuss

"but Bryan please let me"

"I'll break up with you Linda if you do any thing I tell you not to do"

" but this is my freedom" I cry

" well I'm only trying to protect you"

" ok do it"
he responded

I must go I tell myself, I feel guilty but I must brake the chains of feeling like a prisoner in my own life.

I'm at the seaside, I sit observing watching everyone do something, before I do my own stuff as I only just got to the beach so I don't immediately go on my phone to post anything yet.

I notice a lady with her umbrella up shielding herself from the sun as the weather was quite bright still, she looks content I whispered to myself.

I spend alittle bit more time observing
her seeing if she felt bored or lonely.

I noticed she only had a book in view, I felt
weird staring but who am I if everyone is minding their bisnuess any ways, she was barely going to notice me, my curiosity about this lady dies as she gets up and folds her umbrella to leave.

I then turned my attention to look at this couple talking together and laughing at each others joke, sharing and exchanging compliments if I remember
the lady strokes the guys face and they start kissing, my reaction was so awkward but no one could see me so I was good.

I realise in this present moment I have nobody just me so a daze came over me, in deep thought

I struggled with my mind to keep focused

so I too left.



© Lavfearon