One day,
I’ll wake up without the urge to kill myself,
Just not today
One day,
I won’t have to fake like I’m happy and I want to be alive,
Just not today
I won’t wake up thinking about death and all that’s left of my poor mental health,
Just not today
I’ll be able to smile and carry on a conversation that others can be proud of and it won’t be awkward
I’ll be the man my girlfriend,
Fiancé,
Wife had always wanted me to be and I won’t have to watch them cry potential tears as I sit back and look dumbfounded because my autism has stopped me from reaching my true potential,
Just not today
I won’t bang my head anymore
I won’t be slow to process things
I won’t be an embarrassment to myself or others and they won’t have to struggle with my unfortunate ways
Just, not today
I won’t have to take this noose and tie it around my neck until my body hangs lifeless like a decoration on the holidays
I won’t have to take this gun and shoot myself just to let out the screams,
Terrors,
Cries and pain I’ve been enduring throughout the years
The suffering will stop one day
The pain will heal one day
My soul will be set free from this torturous body and ill mind of mine

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