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How to fall in love?
#TheWritingProject
One of the or perhaps the only upside of indifference is that people open up to you. They tell you things and secrets that they have never before allowed to escape their confinement but the downsides are dehumanization, fear & distrust. I can't remember how many times I have been mistaken for an emotionless creature or how many times I have been called a poser and my indifference an act instead of a well-practiced character trait but once they have understood that it isn't an act, they would unload everything that haunts them on me.
I have been indifferent for as long as I remember. There is no start that I remember. It just happened. Born and raised in a poor family with limited resources as a kid, it just happened one day. One day I was feeling down thinking about the hardship and occasional mental disrespect my prents has to put up with and just the other day I realized that I couldn't do anything so I just sucked it up and build the walls of indifference. It helped fend off any pain and suffering. With time, this wall became strong and a character trait.
Growing up, I went through life and people silently. Observing and minding my own business. It took me a long time to realize that the silence I put on is a language in itself and almost every person understands it.
5 years back, I befriended a couple. It was the year 2015 and I had just begun working with one of the I.T firms in Gurgaon. He was one of the Managers of the company and she was the HR. They had been together for 4 years now and were one of the best couples there. In fewer than 10 months, we had become "stayed out late and party together" friends.
On one of those days, he invited me over to his apartment to spend the night. His apartment was in one of the newly made buildings and only 2 of the rooms including his had occupants. Leaving the rest of the rooms on his floor empty. I reached his apartment after completing my shift and knocked on his door. She opened the doors and welcomed me to the party. It was her birthday. The apartment was decorated with rose petals. A beautiful cake with some gifts and a champagne bottle was sitting on the table in the middle of the room. There was music in the air.
Although, there were not many people. An old friend of his and the neighborhood couple were the only others. He looked at me looking around and handed me over a beer. I took it off his hands and he got busy talking to the couple. I got busy admiring his house decor. Abruptly, the music came to a halt and we gather around the cake table. She came out of his room draped in red floral Saree. She had the best make-up on her face and was looking different from what she usually looked like. She ramp walked her way to the cake and cut it. We all cheered and he picked a slice of it up to her lips and playfully, shoved it between them. He smeared the remainder of it over her lips. Everyone laughed out loud.
She smiled and picked up another slice of the cake to retaliate but he caught her hand midway. He then looked into her eyes, curled his other hand around her waist, pulled her to his chest, and kissed her. Their kiss lasted for a minute or so but instead of it being a sign of love, it felt startling and forced on her face. People cheered again and she bolted towards the kitchen hiding shame, and uneasiness not blush behind a manufactured smile.
She waited for a few minutes and called him into the kitchen. He heeded her call but not before turning back the music on.
He came back after 15 minutes and asked everyone to join them for dinner. His expression seemed annoyed and they felt distant. Anyways, we set and eat till our bellies were full, and once again we started drinking. By 12:30 am, everyone was pretty drunk. The music had died down and while I and his old friend was busy scrolling social media feeds, I saw them talking to the neighborhood couple. They were standing across the apartment so I couldn't make out what they were talking about? but they were talking intensely so I went back to checking the feeds on phone. As my head knelt and my eyes glued to the screen, I was none existent for a while and was only brought back to existence by the roaring sound of someone being slapped. I raised my head and saw him charging at her violently. Seeing this every one sprung into action except me. Both of his friends restrained his hands and dragged him away from her while I stood there on the other side of the room with no expression whatsoever and sipped one sip after another from my whiskey glass. He was drunker than anyone else in the room and filled with wild rage so they couldn't hold him for long. He freed himself from their hold and ran towards her. He slapped her and then kicked her in her stomach before being pinned down to the floor by his friends. He struggled in their hold for a bit but then calmed down. Unable to predict his behavior in those moments, his friends decided to lock him in his room until the next day so that he sobers up. Somehow, they got him up, pushed him into his room, and locked the door. They then sat her down on one of the sofa chairs and consoled her. He kept screaming and kicking the door for 10-15 more minutes and then he stopped. He had fallen asleep or fallen unconscious because of all the excess alcohol, only God knows. All this but I didn't move a muscle except for pouring another drink for myself. I wasn't enjoying it but it wasn't doing anything to me either. I didn't feel a thing only indifference.
Considering the situation, his friends offered to stay the night with her but she refused. She had bothered them a lot for one night and she couldn't bother them anymore. Reluctant to leave her alone in the apartment, they discussed their options again.
"I will stay the night.", I interrupted them. Remembering my presence in the apartment, they stared at me as if contemplating between me being a cowered or a heartless Ahole.
"It's okay. You don't need to stay. Besides, I doubt that you will be able to handle the situation if any need arises.", One of his friends dismissed me.
"It's already 3 quarters past midnight so I cannot go home as I am not going to get any transport to travel to my home so I have to stay. You guys live next door. If anything happens, I will call you.", I countered ignoring their detested gaze.
Hesitant at first but later convinced by her, they decided to go home and leave us be.
They left and she locked the door behind her. I poured myself another drink and went to the balcony.
The night was still young and quiet.
"You disgust me. You piece of crap. you disgust me. Do you hear me?", she spoke disturbing the quiet.
She had followed me to the balcony. I ignored her words. I knew that she had been through a lot that day.
Silence prevailed between us again.
She wasn't wrong though. Things had happened that day. Things, that would have impacted anyone but they had nothing to no impact on me. I wasn't angry or uncomfortable or felt no pity. In fact, I remain composed, calm, and indifferent to everything.
I looked at her leaning on the fence of the balcony and asked breaking the silence, "Why didn't you leave him the first time?"
"What first time? This was the first time he raised his hand on me." She clarified a bit irritated with the question.
I didn't say anything further and went back to being silent but I didn't take my eyes off her.
She felt my gaze and looked back. We stared at each other for a while and then she turned her face away.
"I love him. He is the person I will be marrying someday. He is a bit short tempered but all and all he is a sweet guy.", She answered.
"Hmm.", was all she got as a reaction to her last statement.
" How did you know that this wasn't the first time?", she asked a bit amused.
I ignored her question and took a sip of my glass.
Everything was silent again. This time she was looking at me and I wasn't reacting to her gaze at all.
I finished my glass of whiskey and came back to the hall to lie down on the couch.
She stayed on the balcony but not for long. She walked back into the hall and stood near the couch I was laying on.
"I am not heartless you know. I am just indifferent to everything.", I answered her very first question.
She looked confused but I didn't explain further and instead went to sleep.
When I woke up. They had already been up for a while and were having breakfast as if nothing happened. He was sober and had returned to his normal self but her face still had remnants of last night's catastrophe.
They invited me to join but I left making up an excuse.
Days continued on as usual until one day, a few months after that long night we three. I, he and his girlfriend was invited to a wedding.
A close friend of ours was getting married in a different city and we three decided to attend.
However, we were to travel separately. Since, I had some prior engagements to attend to, I told them to go without me and decided to get to the city on the day of marriage.
As planned, I traveled to the city by road and reached to the wedding venue only a couple of hours before the wedding. I changed into fresh clothes that I brought and met the two of them in the hallway of the venue.
The rituals had not started yet but he had already started drinking and by the time celebration started and people took the floor to dance, he was too drunk to even stand properly.
Despite her insistence and continued attempts to stop him from going to the dance floor, he managed to get to the floor and started dancing. Whatever he was doing couldn't be called dancing as he was only flapping his hands and throwing his body all around the dance floor.
Embarrassed, she got on the floor and held his arm to drag him off the floor but he shrugged her hand off his arm and pushed her aside. Unable to maintain her balance she fell on her face.
People hurried to help her and quickly got her back on her feet.
She looked at the faces of the people and found everyone staring at her. She couldn't take on those pitiful eyes of everyone for long and ran away from the venue wiping off her tears.
I found people gathered around the floor and saw him being dragged off by some attendees. They put him into a room and made him sleep.
I too hurried towards the commotion and soon found out the whole story.
I asked around about her whereabouts and was told that someone saw her dashing out of the venue.
My heart sank for a moment. She didn't know how to drive and it was 1 am in morning. New city, midnight, and a woman on deserted streets, it's a recipe for disaster.
I hurried out of the venue and ran towards my car. I began driving it around in hopes of finding her before any tragedy finds her.
She already had a head start of around 15 minutes over me and I was driving around having no clue whatsoever.
I was panicking and worried. I didn't know how to find her. They had no hotel reservations as the night's stay was at the host's house which I was sure she wasn't not heading to. Suddenly, a thought cross my mind, and I asked a stranger on the road for the direction of the near bus stop. He pointed me in the direction and I drove towards it. I was praying for her to be there as I wasn't sure where else to find her.
I sighed relief when I found her sitting on a bench waiting for a bus that comes at 6 in the morning.
"What the hell were you thinking? How can you dash out of the venue into a strange city and that too in this late hour", I yelled at her. My face had turned red in anger.
"This stone has a heart.", She taunted without looking up.
Her remark pierced my heart like an arrow pierces through a target. It threw me off a little and I lost the ability to counter.
"Why are you here? I have known you to be unaffected by any emotion for anyone. Don't tell me that you have fallen for me now.", she looked up with a face that was distraught and mocking me at the same.
"Fuck you! I have to do what any gentleman would do in the hour of need for any lady", I rebutted a bit irritated.
"Still in denial. I see.," She smiled through her tears.
"Stop joking and get up. I am here to bring you with me.", I remembered her situation and calmed down a bit.
"Where to? back to the venue? I can't deal with those pitiful eyes. I can't take on them anymore.", She started sobbing again.
She was right. Anyone would have reacted the same way. I took a deep breath and extended my hand towards her.
I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed a few numbers. One of my friends owned a small apartment in the city and he was okay with me using his apartment for the night as he was out of the city due to official business.
"Come let's go", I extended my hand towards her again.
"I told you already. I am not going back.", she spoke in a determined voice.
" We are not going back. We are going to stay at a friend's place tonight and we will leave for the city tomorrow morning.", I assured her.
She took my hand and got up. I opened the car door for her and she set there looking out of the window. The drive to our temporary dwelling was silent.
I parked the car in the building parking lot and got the keys from the landlord. My city friend had already informed his landlord so we got the keys easily.
I opened the door and we got in. We settled in and I went for a shower. Once I got out, I handed over the towel to her and asked her to shower as well.
I knocked on the bathroom door while she was in and asked if she wanted to eat something. She wasn't hungry and I wasn't either. I looked in the fridge and found some milk. By the time she got out of the shower, I changed into some comfy clothes and had prepared tea.
She was still wearing the light tangerine-colored heavy lehenga. Though, she had taken her jewelry off of her.
"There is a change of cloth in my friend's cupboard. Why don't you change into something comfortable?", I suggested pointing towards the cupboard.
She opened it and found a pink color t-shirt and light green trunk shorts.
She went into the bathroom again and changed into those clothes.
I handed her over the cup of tea and we set on the bed silently.
The apartment wasn't very big. My city friend was a bachelor and in a job that required extensive traveling so he got an apartment that he used to sleep in and make some food. Even the room had a little walking space left after placing a double bed in the middle and a cupboard.
That fall in the venue had given her a bump on her forehead that none of us noticed until her adrenaline spike settled down and she felt a bit of pain.
I applied an anti-infection cream and then a bandage on her bump.
"We should go to sleep.", She said and tapped on the bed to invite me to join her.
Reluctant but finding no other option, I laid beside her. She turned her face away from me and fell asleep or so I thought
Around 3 am in the morning, I found her sobbing in the bed. She was controlling her voice as to not to wake me up but I was already up.
Not thinking much, I took her hand in mine and took her in my embrace from her back.
" Shhh.. relax. I am here. No one can hurt you anymore.", I whispered the words I didn't know if I could keep.
She stopped sobbing. I moved my hand further and wrapped it around her as if creating a protective circle around her. Feeling my body beside her and my hand around her, she snuggled. She fit in my embrace like a piece of a puzzle "Perfectly".
I pulled the blanket over and tucked us in. Her body eased into my embrace and she fell into slumber.
She didn't toss or turn in the rest of the night and I didn't sleep. It was 6 am in the morning and I thought of waking her up but her face was so calm that it convinced me otherwise. I don't know when did I fall asleep but when I woke up I saw her changed back into the lehenga and awake.
Her face had an expression of guilt and she wasn't meeting my eyes. I could understand her expression and couldn't do anything but silently agree to not to talk about last night.
I picked up my phone and saw a few missed calls from her boyfriend and my friend. He was told everything about the night before and since had been searching for us.
I called him and told him not to worry as she was with me.
I told him that she was not in the state to talk to her and told him to meet her back in our city. I drove us back to the city the same day.
After returning to our city, she didn't meet him or me for days. I also didn't try to contact her but I was worried sick. I did all I could but couldn't take my mind off her.
After a month or so, I was again called back to his apartment. He had planned a surprise proposal of marriage for her. As decided, I, his neighbor, and some close friends gather at his apartment to be a part of the proposal.
The way it happens in the movie, she came into the apartment and he got on one knee. He popped the question. We all cheered anticipating a positive response. Hesitant at first, she asked him to get up and said " No". Everyone was dumbfounded. Embarrassed by her rejection, he lashed out at her. He hurled some insults and called her names. Everyone was trying to calm him down so no one noticed her scared face. She was about to have a meltdown but this time I wasn't going to stand on the sidelines while this girl was being bashed by an abusive man.
"Shut the fuck up.", I yelled. Everyone stopped and looked at me amazed.
"This is enough. You have been mistreating this girl for a long time now and she has had enough. She rejected you. Just let her go now.", I continued lashing out at him.
Listening to this, he attacked her and before he could push her, I pushed him back.
"Look, buddy. We are friends that is the reason I haven't called the cops yet but don't push me to do it.", I warned him.
" Oh! so she has been fucking you behind my back. Since when? Oh! yes! yes! from that night na? What is this fucking slut to you? Buddy, let me tell you she is a fucking slut. She will fuck someone else behind your back as she did to me with you.", he kept on hurling insults at her.
He wasn't stopping and she was crying inconsolably.
"Look this guy is only going to use you. he is wedging a gap between you and me. He will fuck you till his heart's content and leave you.", He tried to sway her with lies.
"She doesn't need no man and if she does, I will be that man.", I said something that I couldn't believe I did.
I lept towards her and embraced her in my arms tightly. It didn't work this time and she kept crying.
I took her face between my palms and raised it up a bit. I wiped her tears off her face. Her eyes were now staring blankly into my eyes.
"I know. I am far from perfect. I know you think I don't have a heart which is to a point not incorrect but in the past few days, I have been feeling beats where there were none before. Whatever the little heart I have is because of you, and if you let me I promise to take care of you as a man, friend, and as boyfriend for the rest of our lives. All I want in return is you and a complete heart.", I blurted out something in the heat of the moment that I didn't realize until late, was a proposal.
Everyone including me was taken aback by those sudden words.
I was scared for obvious reasons. I hadn't thought that action through. What if she didn't feel the same or what if I had made a joke of myself? Now everything was hanging on her next words. She didn't speak instead she wrapped her hands around my neck and took my lips between hers. Our lips were locked into a kiss.
Everyone cheered and the claps echoed in the room
"You are not heartless. You are just indifferent". Her face brimmed up with a smile.
She took my hand and walked out of the apartment.
I didn't actually love her then but now I do. I didn't let her know this until the 6th anniversary of our marriage and then I proposed again but this time with love in my heart.
In 6 years. I learned to live, love and care. I found that the actual meaning of love is " care for others more than yourself".
This may not be the traditional way to fall in love but then who knows "How to fall in love?".
© summerof2000
One of the or perhaps the only upside of indifference is that people open up to you. They tell you things and secrets that they have never before allowed to escape their confinement but the downsides are dehumanization, fear & distrust. I can't remember how many times I have been mistaken for an emotionless creature or how many times I have been called a poser and my indifference an act instead of a well-practiced character trait but once they have understood that it isn't an act, they would unload everything that haunts them on me.
I have been indifferent for as long as I remember. There is no start that I remember. It just happened. Born and raised in a poor family with limited resources as a kid, it just happened one day. One day I was feeling down thinking about the hardship and occasional mental disrespect my prents has to put up with and just the other day I realized that I couldn't do anything so I just sucked it up and build the walls of indifference. It helped fend off any pain and suffering. With time, this wall became strong and a character trait.
Growing up, I went through life and people silently. Observing and minding my own business. It took me a long time to realize that the silence I put on is a language in itself and almost every person understands it.
5 years back, I befriended a couple. It was the year 2015 and I had just begun working with one of the I.T firms in Gurgaon. He was one of the Managers of the company and she was the HR. They had been together for 4 years now and were one of the best couples there. In fewer than 10 months, we had become "stayed out late and party together" friends.
On one of those days, he invited me over to his apartment to spend the night. His apartment was in one of the newly made buildings and only 2 of the rooms including his had occupants. Leaving the rest of the rooms on his floor empty. I reached his apartment after completing my shift and knocked on his door. She opened the doors and welcomed me to the party. It was her birthday. The apartment was decorated with rose petals. A beautiful cake with some gifts and a champagne bottle was sitting on the table in the middle of the room. There was music in the air.
Although, there were not many people. An old friend of his and the neighborhood couple were the only others. He looked at me looking around and handed me over a beer. I took it off his hands and he got busy talking to the couple. I got busy admiring his house decor. Abruptly, the music came to a halt and we gather around the cake table. She came out of his room draped in red floral Saree. She had the best make-up on her face and was looking different from what she usually looked like. She ramp walked her way to the cake and cut it. We all cheered and he picked a slice of it up to her lips and playfully, shoved it between them. He smeared the remainder of it over her lips. Everyone laughed out loud.
She smiled and picked up another slice of the cake to retaliate but he caught her hand midway. He then looked into her eyes, curled his other hand around her waist, pulled her to his chest, and kissed her. Their kiss lasted for a minute or so but instead of it being a sign of love, it felt startling and forced on her face. People cheered again and she bolted towards the kitchen hiding shame, and uneasiness not blush behind a manufactured smile.
She waited for a few minutes and called him into the kitchen. He heeded her call but not before turning back the music on.
He came back after 15 minutes and asked everyone to join them for dinner. His expression seemed annoyed and they felt distant. Anyways, we set and eat till our bellies were full, and once again we started drinking. By 12:30 am, everyone was pretty drunk. The music had died down and while I and his old friend was busy scrolling social media feeds, I saw them talking to the neighborhood couple. They were standing across the apartment so I couldn't make out what they were talking about? but they were talking intensely so I went back to checking the feeds on phone. As my head knelt and my eyes glued to the screen, I was none existent for a while and was only brought back to existence by the roaring sound of someone being slapped. I raised my head and saw him charging at her violently. Seeing this every one sprung into action except me. Both of his friends restrained his hands and dragged him away from her while I stood there on the other side of the room with no expression whatsoever and sipped one sip after another from my whiskey glass. He was drunker than anyone else in the room and filled with wild rage so they couldn't hold him for long. He freed himself from their hold and ran towards her. He slapped her and then kicked her in her stomach before being pinned down to the floor by his friends. He struggled in their hold for a bit but then calmed down. Unable to predict his behavior in those moments, his friends decided to lock him in his room until the next day so that he sobers up. Somehow, they got him up, pushed him into his room, and locked the door. They then sat her down on one of the sofa chairs and consoled her. He kept screaming and kicking the door for 10-15 more minutes and then he stopped. He had fallen asleep or fallen unconscious because of all the excess alcohol, only God knows. All this but I didn't move a muscle except for pouring another drink for myself. I wasn't enjoying it but it wasn't doing anything to me either. I didn't feel a thing only indifference.
Considering the situation, his friends offered to stay the night with her but she refused. She had bothered them a lot for one night and she couldn't bother them anymore. Reluctant to leave her alone in the apartment, they discussed their options again.
"I will stay the night.", I interrupted them. Remembering my presence in the apartment, they stared at me as if contemplating between me being a cowered or a heartless Ahole.
"It's okay. You don't need to stay. Besides, I doubt that you will be able to handle the situation if any need arises.", One of his friends dismissed me.
"It's already 3 quarters past midnight so I cannot go home as I am not going to get any transport to travel to my home so I have to stay. You guys live next door. If anything happens, I will call you.", I countered ignoring their detested gaze.
Hesitant at first but later convinced by her, they decided to go home and leave us be.
They left and she locked the door behind her. I poured myself another drink and went to the balcony.
The night was still young and quiet.
"You disgust me. You piece of crap. you disgust me. Do you hear me?", she spoke disturbing the quiet.
She had followed me to the balcony. I ignored her words. I knew that she had been through a lot that day.
Silence prevailed between us again.
She wasn't wrong though. Things had happened that day. Things, that would have impacted anyone but they had nothing to no impact on me. I wasn't angry or uncomfortable or felt no pity. In fact, I remain composed, calm, and indifferent to everything.
I looked at her leaning on the fence of the balcony and asked breaking the silence, "Why didn't you leave him the first time?"
"What first time? This was the first time he raised his hand on me." She clarified a bit irritated with the question.
I didn't say anything further and went back to being silent but I didn't take my eyes off her.
She felt my gaze and looked back. We stared at each other for a while and then she turned her face away.
"I love him. He is the person I will be marrying someday. He is a bit short tempered but all and all he is a sweet guy.", She answered.
"Hmm.", was all she got as a reaction to her last statement.
" How did you know that this wasn't the first time?", she asked a bit amused.
I ignored her question and took a sip of my glass.
Everything was silent again. This time she was looking at me and I wasn't reacting to her gaze at all.
I finished my glass of whiskey and came back to the hall to lie down on the couch.
She stayed on the balcony but not for long. She walked back into the hall and stood near the couch I was laying on.
"I am not heartless you know. I am just indifferent to everything.", I answered her very first question.
She looked confused but I didn't explain further and instead went to sleep.
When I woke up. They had already been up for a while and were having breakfast as if nothing happened. He was sober and had returned to his normal self but her face still had remnants of last night's catastrophe.
They invited me to join but I left making up an excuse.
Days continued on as usual until one day, a few months after that long night we three. I, he and his girlfriend was invited to a wedding.
A close friend of ours was getting married in a different city and we three decided to attend.
However, we were to travel separately. Since, I had some prior engagements to attend to, I told them to go without me and decided to get to the city on the day of marriage.
As planned, I traveled to the city by road and reached to the wedding venue only a couple of hours before the wedding. I changed into fresh clothes that I brought and met the two of them in the hallway of the venue.
The rituals had not started yet but he had already started drinking and by the time celebration started and people took the floor to dance, he was too drunk to even stand properly.
Despite her insistence and continued attempts to stop him from going to the dance floor, he managed to get to the floor and started dancing. Whatever he was doing couldn't be called dancing as he was only flapping his hands and throwing his body all around the dance floor.
Embarrassed, she got on the floor and held his arm to drag him off the floor but he shrugged her hand off his arm and pushed her aside. Unable to maintain her balance she fell on her face.
People hurried to help her and quickly got her back on her feet.
She looked at the faces of the people and found everyone staring at her. She couldn't take on those pitiful eyes of everyone for long and ran away from the venue wiping off her tears.
I found people gathered around the floor and saw him being dragged off by some attendees. They put him into a room and made him sleep.
I too hurried towards the commotion and soon found out the whole story.
I asked around about her whereabouts and was told that someone saw her dashing out of the venue.
My heart sank for a moment. She didn't know how to drive and it was 1 am in morning. New city, midnight, and a woman on deserted streets, it's a recipe for disaster.
I hurried out of the venue and ran towards my car. I began driving it around in hopes of finding her before any tragedy finds her.
She already had a head start of around 15 minutes over me and I was driving around having no clue whatsoever.
I was panicking and worried. I didn't know how to find her. They had no hotel reservations as the night's stay was at the host's house which I was sure she wasn't not heading to. Suddenly, a thought cross my mind, and I asked a stranger on the road for the direction of the near bus stop. He pointed me in the direction and I drove towards it. I was praying for her to be there as I wasn't sure where else to find her.
I sighed relief when I found her sitting on a bench waiting for a bus that comes at 6 in the morning.
"What the hell were you thinking? How can you dash out of the venue into a strange city and that too in this late hour", I yelled at her. My face had turned red in anger.
"This stone has a heart.", She taunted without looking up.
Her remark pierced my heart like an arrow pierces through a target. It threw me off a little and I lost the ability to counter.
"Why are you here? I have known you to be unaffected by any emotion for anyone. Don't tell me that you have fallen for me now.", she looked up with a face that was distraught and mocking me at the same.
"Fuck you! I have to do what any gentleman would do in the hour of need for any lady", I rebutted a bit irritated.
"Still in denial. I see.," She smiled through her tears.
"Stop joking and get up. I am here to bring you with me.", I remembered her situation and calmed down a bit.
"Where to? back to the venue? I can't deal with those pitiful eyes. I can't take on them anymore.", She started sobbing again.
She was right. Anyone would have reacted the same way. I took a deep breath and extended my hand towards her.
I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed a few numbers. One of my friends owned a small apartment in the city and he was okay with me using his apartment for the night as he was out of the city due to official business.
"Come let's go", I extended my hand towards her again.
"I told you already. I am not going back.", she spoke in a determined voice.
" We are not going back. We are going to stay at a friend's place tonight and we will leave for the city tomorrow morning.", I assured her.
She took my hand and got up. I opened the car door for her and she set there looking out of the window. The drive to our temporary dwelling was silent.
I parked the car in the building parking lot and got the keys from the landlord. My city friend had already informed his landlord so we got the keys easily.
I opened the door and we got in. We settled in and I went for a shower. Once I got out, I handed over the towel to her and asked her to shower as well.
I knocked on the bathroom door while she was in and asked if she wanted to eat something. She wasn't hungry and I wasn't either. I looked in the fridge and found some milk. By the time she got out of the shower, I changed into some comfy clothes and had prepared tea.
She was still wearing the light tangerine-colored heavy lehenga. Though, she had taken her jewelry off of her.
"There is a change of cloth in my friend's cupboard. Why don't you change into something comfortable?", I suggested pointing towards the cupboard.
She opened it and found a pink color t-shirt and light green trunk shorts.
She went into the bathroom again and changed into those clothes.
I handed her over the cup of tea and we set on the bed silently.
The apartment wasn't very big. My city friend was a bachelor and in a job that required extensive traveling so he got an apartment that he used to sleep in and make some food. Even the room had a little walking space left after placing a double bed in the middle and a cupboard.
That fall in the venue had given her a bump on her forehead that none of us noticed until her adrenaline spike settled down and she felt a bit of pain.
I applied an anti-infection cream and then a bandage on her bump.
"We should go to sleep.", She said and tapped on the bed to invite me to join her.
Reluctant but finding no other option, I laid beside her. She turned her face away from me and fell asleep or so I thought
Around 3 am in the morning, I found her sobbing in the bed. She was controlling her voice as to not to wake me up but I was already up.
Not thinking much, I took her hand in mine and took her in my embrace from her back.
" Shhh.. relax. I am here. No one can hurt you anymore.", I whispered the words I didn't know if I could keep.
She stopped sobbing. I moved my hand further and wrapped it around her as if creating a protective circle around her. Feeling my body beside her and my hand around her, she snuggled. She fit in my embrace like a piece of a puzzle "Perfectly".
I pulled the blanket over and tucked us in. Her body eased into my embrace and she fell into slumber.
She didn't toss or turn in the rest of the night and I didn't sleep. It was 6 am in the morning and I thought of waking her up but her face was so calm that it convinced me otherwise. I don't know when did I fall asleep but when I woke up I saw her changed back into the lehenga and awake.
Her face had an expression of guilt and she wasn't meeting my eyes. I could understand her expression and couldn't do anything but silently agree to not to talk about last night.
I picked up my phone and saw a few missed calls from her boyfriend and my friend. He was told everything about the night before and since had been searching for us.
I called him and told him not to worry as she was with me.
I told him that she was not in the state to talk to her and told him to meet her back in our city. I drove us back to the city the same day.
After returning to our city, she didn't meet him or me for days. I also didn't try to contact her but I was worried sick. I did all I could but couldn't take my mind off her.
After a month or so, I was again called back to his apartment. He had planned a surprise proposal of marriage for her. As decided, I, his neighbor, and some close friends gather at his apartment to be a part of the proposal.
The way it happens in the movie, she came into the apartment and he got on one knee. He popped the question. We all cheered anticipating a positive response. Hesitant at first, she asked him to get up and said " No". Everyone was dumbfounded. Embarrassed by her rejection, he lashed out at her. He hurled some insults and called her names. Everyone was trying to calm him down so no one noticed her scared face. She was about to have a meltdown but this time I wasn't going to stand on the sidelines while this girl was being bashed by an abusive man.
"Shut the fuck up.", I yelled. Everyone stopped and looked at me amazed.
"This is enough. You have been mistreating this girl for a long time now and she has had enough. She rejected you. Just let her go now.", I continued lashing out at him.
Listening to this, he attacked her and before he could push her, I pushed him back.
"Look, buddy. We are friends that is the reason I haven't called the cops yet but don't push me to do it.", I warned him.
" Oh! so she has been fucking you behind my back. Since when? Oh! yes! yes! from that night na? What is this fucking slut to you? Buddy, let me tell you she is a fucking slut. She will fuck someone else behind your back as she did to me with you.", he kept on hurling insults at her.
He wasn't stopping and she was crying inconsolably.
"Look this guy is only going to use you. he is wedging a gap between you and me. He will fuck you till his heart's content and leave you.", He tried to sway her with lies.
"She doesn't need no man and if she does, I will be that man.", I said something that I couldn't believe I did.
I lept towards her and embraced her in my arms tightly. It didn't work this time and she kept crying.
I took her face between my palms and raised it up a bit. I wiped her tears off her face. Her eyes were now staring blankly into my eyes.
"I know. I am far from perfect. I know you think I don't have a heart which is to a point not incorrect but in the past few days, I have been feeling beats where there were none before. Whatever the little heart I have is because of you, and if you let me I promise to take care of you as a man, friend, and as boyfriend for the rest of our lives. All I want in return is you and a complete heart.", I blurted out something in the heat of the moment that I didn't realize until late, was a proposal.
Everyone including me was taken aback by those sudden words.
I was scared for obvious reasons. I hadn't thought that action through. What if she didn't feel the same or what if I had made a joke of myself? Now everything was hanging on her next words. She didn't speak instead she wrapped her hands around my neck and took my lips between hers. Our lips were locked into a kiss.
Everyone cheered and the claps echoed in the room
"You are not heartless. You are just indifferent". Her face brimmed up with a smile.
She took my hand and walked out of the apartment.
I didn't actually love her then but now I do. I didn't let her know this until the 6th anniversary of our marriage and then I proposed again but this time with love in my heart.
In 6 years. I learned to live, love and care. I found that the actual meaning of love is " care for others more than yourself".
This may not be the traditional way to fall in love but then who knows "How to fall in love?".
© summerof2000
