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The Way I Miss You -05-
|This is a story about Ada and her blog posts about the way she misses Railey, the love that she has lost...|
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I woke up from a dream about you. About you calling my name. Over and over. As if you were waking me up from a dream.
And I wonder as I wake up if you miss me, too. Just as much as I miss you everytime I wake up to a reality without you.
I could still hear your voice even when I open my eyes. And it makes me think if I'm still in a dream. Because I don't want to believe that my reality is a place without you.
So I would blink again and again thinking that the next time I'd open my eyes, I'd realize I've been sleeping all along inside a world that doesn't have you.
And sometimes I'd wonder if you have been calling for me to wake up for so long. Because without you, this reality doesn't feel real at all. That if I pinch myself I would finally wake up and find that you are still alive.
Maybe I would hear your voice calling for me, telling me I'm late for school. Maybe I would see your smiling face waiting for me to go somewhere fun. And maybe I'm still that 18 year-old girl who couldn't wake up on her own alarm.
But no matter how much I pinch myself, I can only feel how much it hurts... How much it hurts... that I would never be able to see you again. That I would never be able to hear your voice again. That I have grown up and grown old. By myself. In a reality without you.
So I would try to go back to sleep, wishing I'd wake up to a dream where you are calling my name. As if you were waking me up from my reality. Because I miss being in a world where I could see you looking at me. Where I could hear you calling for me. Finding you smiling at me. Or just being there with me.
And I hate the way that I miss you. Because missing you is the only thing that reminds me if I'm inside a dream or if I'm in my reality.
If I would have a choice, I'd rather be in a dream that has you in it than in a reality where I could only keep on missing you.
And I hate how morning always comes. Because it means I would have to endure another day of reality without you.
How long can I endure, I do not know. All I know is that I would keep on missing you until I could meet you again in a dream where I could find you. If I'm lucky enough to find you. And though it would never be enough, what else could I do?
Tell me, Railey. What else could I do if I'm not missing you?
© nabinara
《•》《•》《•》《•》《•》《•》《•》
I woke up from a dream about you. About you calling my name. Over and over. As if you were waking me up from a dream.
And I wonder as I wake up if you miss me, too. Just as much as I miss you everytime I wake up to a reality without you.
I could still hear your voice even when I open my eyes. And it makes me think if I'm still in a dream. Because I don't want to believe that my reality is a place without you.
So I would blink again and again thinking that the next time I'd open my eyes, I'd realize I've been sleeping all along inside a world that doesn't have you.
And sometimes I'd wonder if you have been calling for me to wake up for so long. Because without you, this reality doesn't feel real at all. That if I pinch myself I would finally wake up and find that you are still alive.
Maybe I would hear your voice calling for me, telling me I'm late for school. Maybe I would see your smiling face waiting for me to go somewhere fun. And maybe I'm still that 18 year-old girl who couldn't wake up on her own alarm.
But no matter how much I pinch myself, I can only feel how much it hurts... How much it hurts... that I would never be able to see you again. That I would never be able to hear your voice again. That I have grown up and grown old. By myself. In a reality without you.
So I would try to go back to sleep, wishing I'd wake up to a dream where you are calling my name. As if you were waking me up from my reality. Because I miss being in a world where I could see you looking at me. Where I could hear you calling for me. Finding you smiling at me. Or just being there with me.
And I hate the way that I miss you. Because missing you is the only thing that reminds me if I'm inside a dream or if I'm in my reality.
If I would have a choice, I'd rather be in a dream that has you in it than in a reality where I could only keep on missing you.
And I hate how morning always comes. Because it means I would have to endure another day of reality without you.
How long can I endure, I do not know. All I know is that I would keep on missing you until I could meet you again in a dream where I could find you. If I'm lucky enough to find you. And though it would never be enough, what else could I do?
Tell me, Railey. What else could I do if I'm not missing you?
© nabinara
