We got the phone call; you're not well. You're not going to get better. It's time to say goodbye. You've been unwell for a while but I never thought it would come to this. How do I say goodbye? What are the right words? There are so many things to say and yet none of them seem right. I need this to be right. So many goodbyes are filled with lies. They fill their endings with pretty words that sound good but they are false. You were not my hero, you were a man. A man with faults, a man who got angry, a man who said that hurt me but I loved you anyway. I loved you because I knew you loved me. You didn't say but I saw it. Actions speak louder than words as the saying goes. So I suppose I want to tell you that I loved you and I am grateful for all you have done. You were not perfect but you don't have to be perfect to be loved.

I wish I had the courage to tell you how I feel but I can't. Don't speak ill of the dead or so they say. So I won't. But I loved you so I wrote this letter to you and left it at your graveside while the soil was still fresh and only we knew that it was you down there. No one will ever read it and that's okay. It's only for us anyway. Wind and rain and sun and storm will carry my words away in time.

I said goodbye to him at his funeral, the false one, the pretty one. Everyone did and we all told each other how beautiful it was and what a wonderful person he was. I know that's what you're supposed to do but my heart feels lighter knowing that I wrote him my real goodbye letter. Love isn't perfect but I have learned what is perfect doesn't matter, it's what is real. His love was imperfect but it was real, right up to his last breath.
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