I always had nightmares about my past that I'm unwilling to accept, it haunts me.. pain inevitably hurt my each muscle..
many nights I woke up myself in tears done even remember that I started it..
shattered pieces of my mind doesn't even make my life better.. I felt like stuck inside a loop going back to everything toxic..
I started to make bad situations to even worst.. bad decisions that could hurt me so that it could cover the past pains, so that I wouldn't remember..
at some point, I didn't even know I could come over it..
self blame for everything, nothing went on my way..
always searched for love made me even miserable...
at one point.. I felt like.. what is love!? does it even exist?
I tried to heal myself.. tried to make my way through everything...
but again a bad thing happened..
I felt like a stone hit my core shattered turned to ashes.. I tried to hold on.. but I couldn't..
I realised I HATED MYSELF all this time thinking something I could do to change myself and let People accept me and society make a place for me to fit in..
Today, I determined to not to make myself miserable anymore.. I started to accept my cons and flaws.. I STARTED TO LOVE MYSELF AS I AM..
my first decision, I took is to have a peaceful and positive surrounding..
I felt like a mountain lifted off my chest.. I felt at ease.. I slept peacefully today.. I felt happy.. I felt enthusiastic to make a beautiful future for myself..
I don't know how will I be in future and present..
one time, I can be ME without a thought of things that's can't be undone..
"Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional"
- thank you.. if you ever spare some of your valuable time to read my story.. Im happy 🙂
© 25peril