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You need to be happy with yourself first
You need to be happy with yourself first.
It's amazing that so many people think that outside things will make you happy or make you complete.
If I had more money...
If I had a better job…
If I had a bigger house…
If I lose weight…
If I find the love of my life…
That's a big one for so many people.
Yes, most of us romantics desperately want someone to say the line from that movie "You complete me" like that will make all of your other problems go away.
Unfortunately, I hate to be the one to bust your bubble, but it's not. No one is going to complete you. No one will make you happy unless you're truly happy with yourself first. You need to already be complete before you get into a relationship.
The problem today is that everyone wants a quick fix. No one wants to put in the work. No one wants to unpack their shit to see what their issues are in
the last relationship.You need to know your issues before you can try to fix them.
No, they grab their luggage full of crap and run right into the next relationship, same issues, new person. And then so many of them say, "It's them, not me."
They keep going from one to the next to the next, blaming everyone else. Hello! The denominating factor is you!
I talk a lot about my previous marriage and how it was verbally abusive, but even though it was all of that, I still had to unpack. I still had to own what I did and raise my hand in what I did.
Believe me, I was no angel.
Yes, I had to own that I lied. I had checked out of the marriage the last 5 years.
I had an emotional affair.
I didn't want to work on it anymore, I was done for years, yet I didn't have enough balls to leave.
I like the fancy lifestyle and was even willing to sacrifice my happiness to keep it. Yes, I had my issues, but I knew I had to learn to be happy on my own. I had to admit my faults. I had to learn to fix them before I could move on.
I had to learn to forgive him...(Oh, big one there and definitely wasn't easy!)
And let go before I could find happiness.
For 2 years, I didn't date anyone because I was fixing myself. And even still, when I decided to try again, I picked Mr. Con Artist. Ha, God got jokes!
I had to go back to the drawing board. I had to learn about listening to my inner voice and to know my worth. Another year without dating made me learn to love myself. It made me stronger, made me complete with me.
But even still, I had issues I needed to resolve, even when I thought I did my work. I was made to realize that I still had even more work to do. The last two relationships taught me that I am not done, not by a long shot. I must keep owning my own shit and keep changing.
I am now happy being by myself. I even took the last year off from dating. I made a life I love.
I have my family and friends. I do things by myself. I've learned new things,and I've stepped out of my box more times than I could count to experience new things.
I now know my self-worth. I know what I want and what is a definite deal breaker for me. I know money doesn't make you happy, and neither does your job, your family, or your man or women. I know how to be filled with peace and happiness on my own by myself. I know there are still lessons I need to learn, and that's okay, I am a work in progress. As long as I am open to being better, it's all good.
It is only when you get to this point that you're ready to meet someone else. Ahhh... here's the next problem, now you need to find someone who also did the work on themselves. Someone who is whole. Otherwise, they will suck the happiness right out of you, as they feel you need to make them happy.
If you're a giver like me, you'll do it because you want to please them...that is a slippery slope because sooner or later you will be giving your all to them and lose yourself, just like what happened in my marriage.
So today my friends remember, you must already be complete. You must be whole, you must do the work to get there, it is only then, you will be truly happy. Because you need to be happy with yourself first.
"Be the change you want to see,"
@TreadmillTreats
© TreadmillTreats
It's amazing that so many people think that outside things will make you happy or make you complete.
If I had more money...
If I had a better job…
If I had a bigger house…
If I lose weight…
If I find the love of my life…
That's a big one for so many people.
Yes, most of us romantics desperately want someone to say the line from that movie "You complete me" like that will make all of your other problems go away.
Unfortunately, I hate to be the one to bust your bubble, but it's not. No one is going to complete you. No one will make you happy unless you're truly happy with yourself first. You need to already be complete before you get into a relationship.
The problem today is that everyone wants a quick fix. No one wants to put in the work. No one wants to unpack their shit to see what their issues are in
the last relationship.You need to know your issues before you can try to fix them.
No, they grab their luggage full of crap and run right into the next relationship, same issues, new person. And then so many of them say, "It's them, not me."
They keep going from one to the next to the next, blaming everyone else. Hello! The denominating factor is you!
I talk a lot about my previous marriage and how it was verbally abusive, but even though it was all of that, I still had to unpack. I still had to own what I did and raise my hand in what I did.
Believe me, I was no angel.
Yes, I had to own that I lied. I had checked out of the marriage the last 5 years.
I had an emotional affair.
I didn't want to work on it anymore, I was done for years, yet I didn't have enough balls to leave.
I like the fancy lifestyle and was even willing to sacrifice my happiness to keep it. Yes, I had my issues, but I knew I had to learn to be happy on my own. I had to admit my faults. I had to learn to fix them before I could move on.
I had to learn to forgive him...(Oh, big one there and definitely wasn't easy!)
And let go before I could find happiness.
For 2 years, I didn't date anyone because I was fixing myself. And even still, when I decided to try again, I picked Mr. Con Artist. Ha, God got jokes!
I had to go back to the drawing board. I had to learn about listening to my inner voice and to know my worth. Another year without dating made me learn to love myself. It made me stronger, made me complete with me.
But even still, I had issues I needed to resolve, even when I thought I did my work. I was made to realize that I still had even more work to do. The last two relationships taught me that I am not done, not by a long shot. I must keep owning my own shit and keep changing.
I am now happy being by myself. I even took the last year off from dating. I made a life I love.
I have my family and friends. I do things by myself. I've learned new things,and I've stepped out of my box more times than I could count to experience new things.
I now know my self-worth. I know what I want and what is a definite deal breaker for me. I know money doesn't make you happy, and neither does your job, your family, or your man or women. I know how to be filled with peace and happiness on my own by myself. I know there are still lessons I need to learn, and that's okay, I am a work in progress. As long as I am open to being better, it's all good.
It is only when you get to this point that you're ready to meet someone else. Ahhh... here's the next problem, now you need to find someone who also did the work on themselves. Someone who is whole. Otherwise, they will suck the happiness right out of you, as they feel you need to make them happy.
If you're a giver like me, you'll do it because you want to please them...that is a slippery slope because sooner or later you will be giving your all to them and lose yourself, just like what happened in my marriage.
So today my friends remember, you must already be complete. You must be whole, you must do the work to get there, it is only then, you will be truly happy. Because you need to be happy with yourself first.
"Be the change you want to see,"
@TreadmillTreats
© TreadmillTreats
