The fire that was fueled decades ago is still burning, I couldn't seem to stop it from growing. The fire is eating the hell out of me, it is so strong that even poseidon can't kill it. The words you're rooting against me are swords that's pierced through my very chest and the most painful part is, it's still bleeding. It never heals, it's still soar and breathtakingly painful. The pain that you inflicted became a unbearable hatred. It is so heavy, I'm not carrying it on my shoulder, I'm carrying it on my chest, the pain is too heavy that I can't lift the weight. I want it to stop but I just couldn't because even until now you still keep on messing up my whole being. I can't even have a casual conversation with you because when I look at you I see not the person whose blood is related to mine, what I see is the monster who created the demons in my head. I am sorry for blaming no one but you. You are my greatest fear, the thorn that will never dissappear. Hearing your mere voice makes me want to crumble, I wanted to shout because every sound you make is a wrecking ball hitting my head. Your presence makes me shiver, you make me want to crawl at my bed and hide. Why did you made me like this? Why did you made me this kind of person? I want to tell you how miserable I am, you might not see it physically but I promise you I am destroyed mentally. Inside my head is catastrophic, the voices from my demons are like gunshots fired to each other. I am suffering from this unexplainable diseases. Thanks to you, you are the one who made me like this.

#fears
#wounds
#misery