It was a Saturday morning and also a summer season in the city of London and my children had gone with their father to visit their grandparents for summer vacation in Camden town. I felt a relief, I wouldn’t have to mop the floor repeatedly or deal with their naughtiness although I missed them especially my little princess, ‘Sharon” who reminded of my late younger sister who died some years ago and my first and only son, Stephen who was a carbon copy of his father, both from his looks and character.

I turned on the TV set and sat on the Sofa, I won’t be lonely after all since my best friend Gabriella is coming over for a visit. I wanted to listen to the news before her arrival I know I might never have a chance to do so when she arrives because she was always loaded with bundle of unending gists. We both worked at Knight Media, located at Barbon Halley where I discussed rape issues and how to overcome depression.

The news headline caught my attention, ‘a teenage girl committed suicide due to depression’. I gasped, I could remember my teenage years, memories of the experiences I had weakened my nerves. I walked along the dark path but I was able to find the light on time at the end of the tunnel.

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“Shut up! Idiot…”

“Don’t tell me to shut up. You are a fool, I caught you when you dropped that skinny girl in front of the gate…I’m going to kill you.”
I saw her grabbed a mug and flung it towards him, he made a move to avoid getting hit by the mug but it was too late, he got hit right in the head. He held his head and he couldn’t help but stared at his own blood which oozed out of his head like a running tap. He looked up fiercely at her, I knew he won’t take it lightly with her. I took my handbag and shoved my little sister who wouldn’t stop crying aside like a bag of rice before I get beaten in the process, the last time they fought, I ended up having a sprain. My younger sister increased the volume of her voice, she wailed more and as a young girl of five who had been exposed to violence at a tender age, the only way she could react to mum and Dad’s almost everyday quarrel was to cry which didn’t help matters. I saw how dad leapt towards mum with a clenched fist in a bid to blow her to death like an hungry lion who had just found a prey,it was a pity I couldn’t wait to see who won the fight, I have important things to attend to than to watch those cat and rat fight till day break.

I walked towards Shoalin bar, it was late in the night and I knew my parents wouldn’t even bother nor care to look for me. It had always been like that since I was twelve years old and for six years now ,I had been made to accept my fate.

The Shaolin bar had always been a place where I derive peace and enough time for myself. I don’t need to think about what to eat or what to drink, as long as I was ready to have fun with any of the men patronizing the bar, I would have the opportunity to eat as much as I desire. But tonight I wasn’t in the mood to spend time with anyone, I had been sent home for school fees and I know my dad would not listen to any complaint after this fight. He would keep malice with mum and her children as if we were part of their dispute. Shaolin bar didn’t seemed to have enough customer tonight, that was my prayer anyways, so that I can have somewhere to sit and meditate because if it were to be crowded , I would have no choice but to seat at the entrance of the gate till dawn.

The bar was built with palm fronds, a big freezer was placed at the right right side of the bar, A pot of pepper soup was also placed on a table with plates and cutleries while a flat screen TV set served as entertainment to the customers. I grabbed a chair and sat calmly, I picked my phone from my bag, I saw several missed calls from Gabriella. Oh heavens! She shouldn’t have called at this time, I was not in any mood to talk to anyone. The thought of the school fees coupled with fear of sleeping at a bar almost every night made my legs trembled, is this how everything would continue to be? The last time I had a peaceful meal with my parents was during the last Christmas festival although they had a quarrel but due to the presence of some of their friends they bury the hatchet immediately. Mum had always been unsecured about my dad, she claimed he flirts and cheats on her with different ladies, she would confront him violently and dad will reciprocate in a more violent way once he realized that no amount of apology would cool her head down. The most annoying part was when mum will pass the aggression to her poor innocent children, she would refuse to cook nor see to our needs and all she would do all day was sit in her room crying and during times like this I would sneak out from home sometimes with my younger sister to either Gabriella’s place or Shaolin bar to spend the night. Gabriella had not only been a friend to me but a good adviser, she knew the trauma I was having concerning my parents incessant quarrels and she would render her support in the little way she could. I can’t deny the fact that I envy her a lot, she has a good parents who provided everything she needed which ranged from clothing,books and to different toys. But why can’t my parents be the same? Why do they derive so much pleasure in fighting each other.

“Hy pretty…” A young man said bringing me out of my reverie. He smiled broadly at me.

“What do you want?” I asked aggressively.”I want you tonight”. He smiled sheepishly. I was not only irritated with the intrusion he had on my privacy but also by the rude words he uttered.

“So do I look like a prostitute?”. I barked at him furiously. Everyone in the bar stared at us , they were distracted by my stern voice.

” Hey! Don’t shout at me like that. I only want to have fun with you and it’s not a big deal”. He replied embarrassed. I kept mute in a bid to avoid him in order not to create more scenes. Iya Bolu, the owner of the bar walked towards us.

“Why did you shout at my customer like that?.” She stood in front of me with her arms akimbo. I looked away , I felt my eyes swelling up tears. I was amazed at Iya Bolu’s attitude, she had been so nice to me but why the sudden change? I got the answer now, she liked me then because I always give her customers enough pleasure that made them patronized her more. I could remember one night when she gave me a plate of pepper soup and a goat meat as compensation for giving her customers good satisfaction.

“Get out of my bar if you know you can’t promote my business”. She shouted and pointed towards the exit. I did as commanded, I took my bag and walked away.

It was 10pm and I was still roaming the street of Ileyemi, I called Gabriella but she wasn’t picking her calls, she had definitely fallen asleep. Her house was five kilometers from ours and I had to walk and run till I reached a path leading to her house. I could hear footsteps but I couldn’t fathom where the sound was coming from, I stopped walking, turned around but saw no one, I walked on and I heard the footsteps coming after me. Oh heavens! Not the second time. I ran and I could feel some men running after me, how many? Two?, three? Four? I couldn’t figure that out. I ran with all my strength but those men overpowered me, I felt a cold chill ran down my spine when I saw three hefty men staring down at me. I pleaded with tears in my eyes

“please let me go”. I cried, the tears steamed down my eyes like an angry torrent which was withheld for days. The three men dragged me to a corner at the end of the road, I could see they were dead drunk as they staggered and smiled mischievously. I was too weak to struggle my way out as they ripped off my dress, they were thrilled with my nudity and before I knew it they had their way with me one after the other. This was not the first time I would get raped but this was the most painful rape experience I would ever have, I almost got suffocated. I looked at them as they staggered away into the night as I was left lying down helplessly. I gathered the remaining strength I had left and limped towards Gabriella’s gate. I knocked at the gate lightly, I couldn’t shout nor talk, I was almost unconscious. Luckily for me, their gateman opened the gate on time and helped me in. Gabriella woke up when she realized it was me, she was careful not to wake her parents, she asked what happened to me when she saw my state but I lied to her. I told her I had a fall which affected my legs and she believed me perfectly. Throughout the night I couldn’t sleep, I was fed up with life, after all it doesn’t seem as if I had parents, they had never performed their duties to me as parents. They had no idea what I was going to through, they don’t even care whether I was dead or alive. I know what my mates had become or planning to become and that was because their parents had good plans for them,for example Gabriella would further her education in a good varsity, Omolola one of my course mates had started a good business which is earning her good income. I need to end all this, I don’t think I’m fit to live. I looked at Gabriella who slept soundly like a baby, how nice it is to have a good life to live. Look at me, I was raped twice, the first one was by a neighbor who I ran to for refuge when my parents had a fight and now these men. I sobbed silently, ‘Im not fit to live’ I whispered repeatedly.

The next day, I took my bath, put on one of Gabriella’s dress and left in the process. I branched a pharmacy to get Sniper, (a dangerous pesticide used in killing rats, cockroaches and other pests).

I walked towards an incompleted building with the aim of commiting a suicide, I found a suitable place to sit and with tears in my eyes, I opened the sniper to drink and rejoice with death but all of a sudden I remembered what my pastor said the previous Sunday at Church. He explained how he had wanted to commit suicide but decided to wave the thought and he got a surprise job from a big company some days after. He said “when there is life, there is hope. No one cares about people who commits suicide just because they going through one trial or the other, rather people would blame, insult and curse them for taking thier souls themselves.” Then I ask myself a question, will killing myself make my parents stop their fights and quarrels? Would they even shed a tear over my corpse? They would rather be glad I was gone. The sniper I held slipped down my trembling hands, No! I won’t accept defeat. Then I remembered my maths teacher’s favourite quote by Davis Brooke

“Sometimes, life would kick you around but sooner or later you realise you are not just a survivor. You are a warrior, and you are stronger than anything life throws your way”. I stood up determined to overcome the trials I was going through and be a strong person.

I walked back to Gabriella’s house, she was in tears and her mother sat with her in a bid to soothe her , she hugged me and claimed she had looked for me and she was glad I came back. Her mum sat me down and I narrated my ordeal to her, she was touched by my story and Gabriella looked at me amazed that I could keep all these away from her.

“You will live with us from now on dear. I won’t allow you go back to that house, I will pay your school fees and you will go back to school”. Mrs Smith said. My joy knew no bound. I hugged her with tears in my eyes, finally my troubles are getting over.
Some months later, news reached me that my younger sister kicked the bucket when she was hit by a mortar thrown by mum in an attempt to hurt my dad during their usual fights. I shivered my sister dead? What a cruel world!

Gabriella’s parents pleaded with my parents to let me stay with them so as to sponsor my education and they agreed without a second thought. Some weeks later, They had a divorce and got remarried respectively some months later. It was obvious none of them was ready to take care of me . Two years later, Gabriella and I were sent to study abroad.